83 - Embracing Different Abilities with Katey Fortun

Website: https://kateyfortun.com/
Podcast: https://kateyfortun.com/podcast
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katey-fortun-3126942a/

Connect with Samantha Foote!

Website: www.everybrainisdifferent.com

Email: [email protected]

TRANSCRIPT

Samantha Foote: [00:00:00] This podcast is for parents like you, navigating the world of neurodiversity with love and compassion. I'm a neurodivergent mother of three amazing neurodivergent children and a board certified music therapist. Our mission is to create a supportive space where you feel understood, connected, and inspired.

With practical tips, strategies, and resources, we'll help you and your child thrive in your unique way. Join us as we dive deep into the diverse world of neurodivergent individuals exploring topics like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing challenges, and more. We'll cover it all to empower, educate, and uplift both neurodivergent individuals and those who walk alongside them.

Together, we'll create a world where every brain is valued and celebrated. We're excited to embark on this enlightening journey with you. We are your hosts, Samantha Foote and Lauren Ross, and this is the Every Brain is Different podcast.

Welcome to the Every Brain is Different [00:01:00] podcast. We are here with Katey Fortun, and she went from a struggling student diagnosed with a learning disability, which was dyslexia. To a college graduate, interior designer, multimillion dollar account executive, former university lecturer, motivational speaker, podcast hosts, and so much more.

She does not give up. And I love that she has had many different career experiences so far in her 30 plus years of life. And she takes those experiences and shares them with the world and hopes to inspire people all over the world. Katey believes everyone has different abilities and it's time to let our different abilities shine bright.

So, she says, you are amazing and you are important, you are strong, you are smart, and the world needs you just the way you were made. You can do anything you put your mind to with a lot of hard work, determination, and never giving up. It's not your disability, it's your different ability. And that is your brand, Different Ability.

I love it. So, Katey, tell us a little bit more about [00:02:00] how you were involved in the neurodivergent community. 

Katey Fortun: Well, first of all, thank you both for having me here. I'm so excited to be here today. And oh my gosh, where do I start? Well, I am neurodivergent. And so like you said from the bio, uh, I did not find out that I was dyslexic until I was 10.

So between fourth and fifth grade. And for some people I've talked to. That's early, but for me, that was late in my mind because I struggled a ton and we always talk about in the disability world, like early intervention, knowing about it, early diagnosis are like key. And yes, I was only 10, but I struggled kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth grade.

That's a lot of years. That's a lot of years. And also I'm little, right? Like I was little and I'm the [00:03:00] the oldest in my family, I have a younger sister, and honestly, I struggled so much. My poor mom, she, and my dad, but they did their best because I was their first kid.

They had no one to compare me to. And, I know, comparison. No, we like that. We're worrying about people maybe learning differently. And so, quite honestly, my mom has told me this, and I've had her on my podcast talking about it, that she thought I was just being a stinker. Like when I would read a sentence, I would know a word in that sentence, and then one sentence down, the same word, I wouldn't know it.

And she's like, come on, Katey, let's figure this out. And there's just so many things. Well, and I'm sure we'll talk about this, but like, I rewrote a book and I'm getting through. I don't know when this is going out, but I am in the editing phase right now. I learned so much about myself even writing that book.

I cried so much [00:04:00] in the early chapters because I was like, oh my gosh, I went back to that place of being in pain, feeling dumb, stupid, and alone, not knowing what was wrong with me. By the way, there's nothing wrong with me. I just learn differently and I'm awesome. And so is everyone else that does things differently.

So, I think it was just, I fell through the cracks. It was, well, what am I, 35 right now? So 25 years ago, like that's a long time ago. And I just, I just fell through the cracks because I was really good at masking. I learned this recently and one of my teachers, because I wrote about her in my book. I got together with her and I asked her to chat about some things and asked if I could write about her.

And she said, she goes, you still to this day are one of the top students that I had such an issue with not realizing what was going on. She's like, I couldn't pinpoint it. [00:05:00] I couldn't figure it out. And it drove me crazy. And then, when I did get diagnosed, it all kind of came together. So, there's just a lot going on with all of that.

The most I was, I just felt so alone. And my mom is an avid reader. She is amazing at it. And, so for her and I to be struggling, crying at the kitchen table every single night, trying to get my homework done was exhausting and it's not really no one's fault because like here at school I was doing good.

I was masking real good getting the grades, but no one saw what was going on at home no one saw that I was struggling and crying and it just it was a disconnect and so thankfully my sister when she was in first grade, I was in fourth, she was reading better than me. And my mom, first, finally, was like, wait a minute.

I know something's going on now. And like, [00:06:00] she really, it hit her and she works at a really amazing, well, sorry. She worked, because she just retired, at a really amazing health care system. And they got me in, and I was able to get tested, and within 10 minutes, the doctor knew. Oh, wow. Yeah. 

Samantha Foote: That, yeah. So that is what I was thinking about was a comparison thing.

So many parents don't know that something is going on with their firstborn, because that's just what life is like. That's just what. They're used to it, and so then when they see the second kid coming up, they're like, oh. Well, they're doing this and this person wasn't doing this. So I had that happen. There were twins that I worked with and they didn't think anything was going on with the one twin because the other twin was so underdeveloped.

And so then when they got to school, the more developed twin, [00:07:00] He still was behind all his peers. And so the parents were like, Oh, so people wonder why kids don't get diagnosed. It's because parents, that's just normal. That's just how their kid is. They don't know what's going on. So I only say that because if you're a parent listening to this, and I've heard this from a lot of parents are like, I should have known.

How could you have known? 

Lauren Ross: How? 

Samantha Foote: Yeah. 

Lauren Ross: How? You only know what you know. You never know reality. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah, yeah, it's like when I didn't get diagnosed with OCD and ADHD until I was in my thirties because my mom, she's undiagnosed, but I'm pretty sure she has OCD and ADHD. And so when I talked to her about what was going on with me, she's like, that's just life.

That's how it is. You just got to deal with it. 

Samantha Foote: So I just think that's an important thing to bring up. You don't know what you don't know, and your parents' reality is their reality, and they might be going through [00:08:00] the same thing that you're going through. But that's just normal to them because no one's ever told them that's not what everyone's experience is.

Katey Fortun: Well, and I also think, too, I didn't mention this, but my mom is such an avid reader and really good at it. And so she was like picking up on that stuff, right? And what is going on? But on the flip side, my dad, he was in his forties at the time, like he worked construction. He was, he wasn't helping with the homework.

Well, years and years later, I asked them both to come and speak with me at a conference. And at that conference, my dad stood up in front of everyone, made the entire room cry with one sentence. And it was. The day that Katey found out she was dyslexic was the day I found out I was too. He had never known and he always felt dumb, stupid, all that stuff through school way back when he was going to school.

And for him, it was, he was terrified that I was going to struggle like he did. And that I was going to have [00:09:00] all of those things that he had. And so he never got formally diagnosed, but it is so hereditary, dyslexia is. And so, it was very obvious. And then we kind of started figuring out some of my uncles are, and then my cousins ended up getting diagnosed after me too.

This is years later, thankfully, but like that, so it was just those two different perspectives of my mom's what's going on. And she just doesn't know what's going on. And she was worried about it. Will Katey ever drive? Will she be able to read roadside? Just all these things, which is so valid. And then my dad's like, oh no, like I struggled.

And I, and it's just like, it's, it's wild. But again, you don't know what you don't know. And parents normally, some, obviously some parents are teachers, but you're not a teacher in the classroom with kids. So you have no frame of reference of seeing what is going on. And so, uh, again, no pointing fingers at anyone.

And [00:10:00] when I was writing the first seven chapters, I had my mom read them. And I was so nervous, by the way, because I put all my heart and soul into it. And I'm like, thank God people are going to read this. 

Katey Fortun: And then I'm like, Katey, you're writing a book. Get over it. Yes. People are going to read it. But, my mom read it, I asked for her opinion, I was like, terrified.

And again, my mom is amazing, by the way. She's the nicest person, and she would never judge. She's Katey, it was beautiful. I felt every emotion you had. And then she turns around and looks at me and she goes, I had no idea those stories. You never told me that and because I was a little kid. I was tiny. I was keeping all this stuff inside the master of masking.

She had no idea that I felt those ways and had those experiences and the stories I tell in the book. She's, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, no, no, this is, and I felt bad. And I was like, I'm so sorry, Mom. I should have told you. She's no, we're both like, no. And then. She's now we can help people [00:11:00] because we have these stories because this is was your story and is my story is or is my story and it is her story, too so it's just been like a very emotional like being 35 when we're recording this because soon I'll be a little older but it's just been very emotional and like eye opening and the more people I talk to about it the more it connects with others.

I'm just like, okay I'm telling everyone in the world then because I don't want anyone to feel alone. No wonder, because we all do things differently, we all learn differently, we all get through the world differently, and that is okay, and let's freaking celebrate it! Let's celebrate it. 

Samantha Foote: Yes, I love that. I know when my son has, he doesn't have dyslexia, but he has visual processing issues.

And back when he was in preschool, he knew that he was different. He was like, I'm not smart. I'm dumb. I, and he felt so alone because all the other kids knew all their letters, they knew what the sounds were, and he just, [00:12:00] it just wasn't clicking for him. And so he did visual vision therapy and that helped a lot, but I, I know what you're talking about.

These kids, I've heard it time and time again. And even as adults, you feel alone. You feel like no one can understand you. You feel like you're stupid because. You're not up where all the other kids are. That's why I despise standardized testing, but this could be a whole other podcast.

Katey Fortun: Preach it. 

Samantha Foote: Well, because this week my kids, my kids have done so well. They are, they are trying so hard in school, but then they do the standardized test and they bring it home and they can see that they are below their peers. They can see it on the scale. They can see it in the numbers and they're like, but I did my best. It's just really hard. And I said, I am very proud of you for doing your best.

I was like, we just need to keep [00:13:00] practicing and it will come. 

Katey Fortun: And I just, again, a simple little test does not tell anyone how smart or capable they are and, or intelligent or any of that. Are you kidding me? Some of this stuff that people that have all sorts of disabilities or different abilities or whatever that looks like for them, they're doing incredible things and it all looks different.

I'm sorry, I don't get graded anymore. I don't get A's, B's, and C's anymore in the real world. Come on now. It's crazy. Yeah. I would, I would rock a test if it was done differently, right? Listen to it. Or if I'm building stuff. I could outbuild you in Lego so fast. Also, there's just so many things that I can see.

I can shut my eyes and I can literally visually build a building and in my mind all the letters I look at. Flip and I can see all the sides of them. Is that a pain in the butt? Yes, [00:14:00] but it's also really stinking cool. And I just love that because like my mom for example I'm an interior designer by trade.

That's what I went to school for and my mom. I'll do a floor plan. I'm like, oh look at we could do this in your house. And she's that's a bunch of lines, Katey I don't know what that means and I'm like, what do you mean? You don't see this and me and my dad are like, what are you talking about? This balls here in this and she's not so I do the 3D visuals and stuff, and then she sees it, but in line drawings, she, no.

And she'd be like, when we were kids, or when I was younger, I'd go buy a bookshelf or something, and my dad and I would be on the living room floor, we're gonna build it, and mom's like, wait, the instructions! And she's running over with them, and we're like, Get those out of here. And we just built it, without instructions.

So, I can't read instructions, but my mom on the flip side, I could not build that without the reading instructions. So again, we all learn and do things [00:15:00] differently, and it's awesome. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah, every brain is different. Every brain should be celebrated. I totally agree. Yes. So, what would you say to parents whose child might have dyslexia?

They might have other diagnosed things or something going on. How can we help them celebrate their differences, learn what their strengths are, and just help them be in this world with those different things? 

Katey Fortun: Oh, I love that question. First and foremost, this is not a terrible thing. And you have every right in the world to be scared, unsure, mad.

And you can absolutely, I'm not going to tell you not to do that because you're going to have that moment. And I'm seeing this more. From my mom's point of view, because she's a mother. I'm not. I'm a dog mom, and that's what I'm gonna stay. So, but, as a person that is dyslexic, one thing I, there's a million things my parents did.[00:16:00] 

One of the biggest things is they always believed in me. They always, even if it was ridiculous, like, like what I wanted to do. Cause there's some things that were just ridiculous, and they're like, you work really hard. And you can do it. Meet the people. Make the connections. We believe in you. We can help you wherever we can.

But I remember one time my dad saying, If you really want to be an astronaut, you could totally be an astronaut. It's just like yes, sometimes it's, okay, Katey, actually, you probably can't because there's actual regulations and stuff. No, they were like, get out there and learn about it. And then I figured that out.

Obviously, like, I'm scared of heights. Why the heck would I even go try to be an astronaut? Seriously. Yeah, let's talk about that differently. So they always believed in me. They always pushed me to strive for my best, whatever that looked like. And I think that is so key and it worked really well. They also, by they, I mean my dad more than my mom.

My mom is always, but my dad's like the preacher of the family. Doesn't stop pushing. [00:17:00] He's listening to this coming. I guarantee I will send this to him and he will listen. And he will laugh at this because he is. We're like, okay, Chris, quit it now. You know, like, But he. Always kind of question, like, things.

Like, hey, I want to do this. Okay, why? And he kind of made me, like, have a reason and had me think about it more and, not to say I couldn't do it, just more like, okay, remember this. Another silly thing, these are just really they're not silly, but they're just interesting. You might think, like, what? He taught me how to shake hands properly.

This is, it sounds crazy. Does it not? You can tell me it does. But he's, no. He's kind of the old school way. You make sure they know you're there. You grab their hand. Don't squeeze too hard. Don't break people's hands. But make sure you know they're there. Look in their eyes. Just, these are things that we worked on for myself.

But also, uh, when I did find out that I am dyslexic and realized that my dad was too, and we learned very similar, I started [00:18:00] doing things a lot more, I always did, but a lot more with my dad. So I'd go out to the shop. He's a custom welder. I learned how to drive. Skid Steers and Bobcats at an early age. I was digging holes. I'm gonna get in trouble for this, like, child labor laws or something.

But, I was digging holes with him when he was going over to a company that has a bunch of big bulls, like, actual animals with the nose rings and everything. I learned how to weld at 10 years old. I wanted to build things and work with my hands and because I saw the things that he was so good at and is so good at and I started realizing I'm really good at this stuff.

So like in fifth grade we had to do book talks. Okay, thanks a lot, that sucks, reading a book, and then going and presenting about it. All my other peers were built, like, making posters and whatever. No, I built it. I built a [00:19:00] boxcar with a working door, because I read the Boxcar Children book. And I built a ship.

The Boxcar Children went on a ship once or something. And I built the ship with my dad, of course, and his supervision. We had to do scarecrows one time in fifth grade. Everyone did scarecrows traditionally. I made it out of steel, like a little one. And I loved doing that kind of stuff, and I still love doing that stuff.

So I learned really quickly, I'm very visual. And being able to, whether you read something and you learn about it, and then I could actually make it or do whatever that looks like, that was key for me. It was so important. And I also learned really early on, listening to something is my way of learning. If I read it, it took me four times to totally understand something.

But if I hear it. Being read to me or whatever, [00:20:00] like audiobooks, I will remember it and I know what's going on at all times. So. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah, those are great suggestions. It's like when Dr. Temple Grandin was on the show and she was talking about the visual thinkers and the concrete thinkers and all the different thinkers.

Find out what kind of thinker you are and then go with it and celebrate it. And yes, you have to know how to read because you have to read in today's society, but that doesn't mean that you're going to go get a job where you read things all day long, and that's what you do. So you're an interior designer, or you've been an interior designer, and you just work with your brain.

And I love that. I love that. 

Katey Fortun: Well, yeah, other than the whole book thing, I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. 

Katey Fortun: Hey, be dyslexic. Let's write a book. That was fun. No, that's more of a joke. But yes, that's what I'm learning about. What I would really like to do in the real world, uh, was super important. And that was, I played the Sims back in the day.[00:21:00] 

I like Lego, like I should own part of Lego. Like I love Legos and I still have them all over our house. I'm 35 years old. I love them and doing all of that, but then learning interior design and being able to have an idea in my head, put it on paper, but then also build it in real life. That was super cool. And now I'm in, as my day job and stuff, I'm in sales making connections verbally.

I'm very verbally good at what I do there too. So now if you say, Hey, go write me a three page email, I'd be like, okay, where's chat GPT? But I'm like, I just, it's like, it's daunting and I don't love it. So yeah, not ideal. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah, for sure. Just find what you're good at and go with it. My son discovered Legos. The one with the visual processing issue.

He loves them. And that is what he does to calm down. That's what he does as a creative outlet. He's always [00:22:00] building things. He's a lot like you, it sounds. And so, I just celebrate that. And we, I think he has every single Jurassic World Lego set that's under 100. I think he might have every single one because I was looking for one for Christmas to buy him another one and I was like he and he doesn't want doubles. He's please don't get me when I already have and I'm like I don't know what to get you anymore.

Samantha Foote: Should I make one of those yes but yeah so yes I love that you were talking about just you get with your parents.

If you have autism or ADHD or Dyslexia or anything I can almost guarantee you one of your parents has that also so learn from them and just and teach your kid what strategies if you have like I have ADHD so I'm helping my kids like learn the strategies that I use so that they don't have to learn them on their own and go through that [00:23:00] process and then maybe they won't use them.

Maybe they will but at least they have. They know about them. So, yeah, 

Katey Fortun: Well, yeah, and also even if you're a parent and you don't, you're not diagnosed yet or you never, maybe you never will be, I have no idea. If your kid is interested in something, find someone that's doing it and let them job shadow, let them learn about that, that type of thing.

Let them go out and do a new adventure of some sort. If they have any idea, like maybe this, they may hate it. And that's okay. But then they learn that and you're not, I'm a, I hate wasting time. I've learned that in my years. So it's not a huge time waste when you're connecting with people or getting out in the world and making those connections.

And you can start early with building networks, building great relationships. I love that kind of stuff. Yeah. Again, another whole podcast episode. Yeah. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah. 

Katey Fortun: But I love building those connections and [00:24:00] relationships and all of that stuff because there's so many people out in the world, like literally almost everyone wants to help.

Like they do. When you ask, they will want to help you and if they don't, gross, they're not your kind of people and just move on. Yes. That's my two cents on that. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah. Speaking of help, what resources do you have or do you recommend to people? I know you have your book coming out and so I'm super excited to read that.

I'm even on your email list that you have just for the people that are excited about your book. So yes, you have your book coming out. Super excited about that. 

Katey Fortun: Yeah, resources. Well, yeah, of course, obviously, shameless plug, the book when it comes out. I haven't even announced the name of it yet. It's coming soon for the people on my email list.

You'll be getting that soon. Thank you for supporting by the way, and also advocacy is like my number one thing I like talking about and not even just like it, like it is ingrained in my soul. So [00:25:00] being able to advocate, that's why I am where I am today. My parents, whether they knew it or not, like back in the day, like it wasn't the words they're using.

They taught me to be me. They taught me to stand up for myself, to make that handshake, to question that thing, or whatever that looks like. And if it wasn't something that I agreed with, I'm gonna ask and say, wait a minute, why? And things like that, and that is all advocacy, but truly learning about how to advocate for yourself is obviously very important. And one of my favorite things to teach and help people with is learning your strengths and your areas of improvement. I don't call them weaknesses because we are not weak. We just do things differently. So it could be something that we can improve on. Or, at least you have the list of things that you're not the greatest at.

Great. Put that over here. You can still kind of work on it if you need to. Obviously when you're in school, but hey, let's really focus on the amazing things you're good at because [00:26:00] we don't need to be dreading about, Hey, I'm not great at reading, writing, spelling. Hey, guess what world? I can get people to read to me.

It's called audiobooks. And it's called, uh, I can spell, uh, Google Spellcheck. All the things, my mom, I still call her, especially when I can't figure out a word, even how to start it, because that happens. And then Google's like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Then you know it's going to be a tough word.

And like all of that stuff, there's so many great resources. There's even, I don't, I don't use this, but one of my old bosses sent this to me. And I, because he, by the way, found out many of my bosses were also dyslexic. Because I was talking about it. Yes! Crazy! Well I was in the design and construction industry for years and we're all kind of like minded so it really made sense but he sent me this thing where it's like a pen that you go over the lines and it reads to you and really cool stuff and I'm like, what?

So, there [00:27:00] are so many different resources but really truly, first thing you can do, in my opinion, and you can continue to do this is get your list of strengths. Things you're good at, things you love, and your areas of improvement and keep thinking about them and keep going towards it. It just reminds you.

It gets in your face. It's something, and that can change. That list can change, obviously. Especially when you're learning about yourself and trying something new and you're like, not good at that. Don't love that. And you can just kind of keep learning that, but then it helps you gain confidence in yourself when you know more about yourself.

And this goes for kiddos with different abilities or struggling or whatever. And adults, by the way, we all can be doing this all the time. 

Samantha Foote: I loved all the resources that you recommended and advocacy is like. Number one, I feel like, because when you can [00:28:00] advocate for yourself, then other people will know what you need, and then you can get what you need.

So, I'm trying to teach my kids that right now, because they'll, like, if they need something, and they're not around me, they'll just clam up and be like, Whatever. And then they won't get what they need. And so, like, my daughter will just let people take crayons from her at preschool. And I'm like, no! You stick up for yourself.

Katey Fortun: My god, I want to hang out with your daughter right now so bad, because I'll be like her body.

Samantha Foote: She has a behavioral therapist that goes to preschool with her. And the behavioral therapist will be like, we take turns. This was hers and I took it away from the person and gave it back to my daughter.

So yes, I love it. Okay. Where can people find you if they want to know more about your book, more about you, more about your podcast? 

Katey Fortun: You can find me on everything. With Katey Fortun. So that's my handle everywhere, whether it's my website [00:29:00] is kateyFortun. com. My podcast. Okay. Sorry. This is the one thing, but you can find it on kateyFortun.com. But my podcast is called the different ability podcast, where we celebrate amazing differences and Samantha was an amazing guest on it. So thank you for being there. Like, all of the socials, I'm scared to even say them right now because who knows what's gonna be around soon, but, um, Now everyone knows when we're actually recording this, but KD Fortun everywhere.

And I do spell my name a little unique, but it is in the episode. It'll be here. So you guys can, can look at it there. 

Samantha Foote: And you will also be one of our keynote speakers for the Neurodiversity and Harmony Summit. So super excited about that. If you want to know more about the Neurodiversity and Harmony Summit, we are doing it on March 7th.

It will be virtual, it's free. And you can go to everybrainisdifferent.com and find more information about [00:30:00] that. But I am stoked to have you as one of the keynote speakers. Super excited. 

Katey Fortun: Thank you again for having me. I'm pumped about it. It's already on my like, I have a whole calendar of everything I'm doing this year because of visuals.

And, uh, I put it on there like the second I'm like, look at that. I have, I'm just trying to fill that calendar up. And I am super excited. To be a part of it. And by that time I should be a lot farther along in my book. So I'm really excited and hopefully I'll have a date around that time as well. Nice.

Nice. Cool. Well, good luck. 

Samantha Foote: Our last question is, what do you do for fun? 

Katey Fortun: Ooh, what do I, okay, this is funny because I was actually going to mention this in the episode, but I'm glad I didn't. This is going to make me sound like I'm a 150 year old woman and that's fine. It's okay. I love to do puzzles and it is the one and might be only thing other than Legos that can actually turn my undiagnosed ADHD brain, cause I'm not, I'm not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure, [00:31:00] uh, off and I can just calm down.

And when my world is spinning. I go and do a puzzle. There's literally a puzzle that is pushing my buttons right now. I'm going to be very honest on my kitchen table. We redesigned my kitchen and I designed the kitchen so I can have a big enough table. So one half could be a puzzle area for me. That's how much I love doing puzzles.

So that is my one. There's a million things, but that's my one big thing that I love to do is just spend time and just. Do the puzzle. 

Samantha Foote: That is awesome. Thank you for coming on the show. We really appreciate your time. I'm really looking forward to seeing you at the summit. And yeah, just thank you for your time.

We really appreciate it. Thank you so much.

Okay, Lauren, what were the highlights? I like her. Oh my gosh. 

Lauren Ross: There are so many. We're going to have to have her back. Um. So [00:32:00] many. First and foremost, uh, love the advocating for yourself, go like really learning what your strengths are, what you love, what you're good at, and I love the areas of improvement versus weakness terminology because it's up, it's just areas for improvement, and so I really loved that verbiage.

What else? Uh, parents, believing in your children. I know that getting a diagnosis or whatever can be. really scary, but it is not the end all. It is the sky's the limit if you want it to be. And yes, things may look different or you might have to do things differently, but it's just different. It's not wrong.

It's not bad. And so believing in your kids, I think, can take your kids a very long way. And so I love the little things that her dad did, like teaching her how to shake hands. What a simple but solid skill that [00:33:00] also helps you to advocate. Here I am. Yeah. Nice to meet you. Yeah, for sure. Uh, and so I, I really, I really love that.

I think it's also, I kind of was thinking about this when, like how she felt when she was younger, reading with her mom and her mom thinking, you just did this word. Why aren't you doing this word? And I want this just to be a reminder, uh, to parents and educators to be mindful of our language so that we're not developing learned helplessness in the kiddos, like when they're hearing phrases like, this is really easy, you got this, you could do this, and they're clearly struggling, it just I feel like it makes them feel worse.

Makes them feel more alone. And so I just, I just want to emphasize that, that mindfulness of the language. But she had so many great things. I could go on forever about the things she talked about. Yeah. She's, yeah, loved it. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah, I like how she talks so much about advocacy. That's what she's going to be talking about at the [00:34:00] summit is helping your children advocate for themselves and how to advocate for your children because so many times when kids are having issues in the classroom, it's looked at, they're doing it on purpose, they're, they're capable of doing what you're asking them to do, and they're just choosing not to do it, when so often that is not the case.

Yesterday, I was talking to a group of moms, and we're talking about executive function, and how a lot of neurodivergent kids have trouble with executive functioning skills. And so if you say, go do this, and you give them a list of things to do, it might look like they're just defying you by not doing it when really their brain could not understand how to plan the actions to get that done.

And so they just. Don't do it because they don't know how and they're not gonna cause issues like being like I can't do it and they're not gonna [00:35:00] tell you that they're just gonna go do something else because they don't know how to plan and Execute what you're asking them to do So that's the same thing in the classroom Like if you give if you give my son a list of problems to do he's not gonna do them because he's gonna be overwhelmed By them, but if the teacher says hey do problems one, two, and three, and then I'm going to come back, and we're going to look at it, and then I might give you more to do.

He will do problems one, two, and three. But sometimes those three problems will be too much, so just do problem one. So that was just something that I was thinking about. Just work with your kid's brain, and like we said before, 

Lauren Ross: Break it down. 

Samantha Foote: Yeah. All behavior is communication. Kids don't want to get in trouble.

They don't want to get you mad at them. Figure out what they're trying to communicate. If they're not doing something, but yeah, Katey's amazing and I'm really excited for her book and [00:36:00] just everything that she is doing, so, if, talking to the audience, if you like this episode, let us know, if you want us to have Katey back on, let us know, you can go to everybrainisdifferent.com to find out more details about the summit, so, yeah, have a good week and we appreciate you listening. 

Lauren Ross: Bye. Thank you for listening to this episode. We hope the discussion on neurodiversity has provided you with support, understanding, and inspiration. If you found our podcast valuable, please share it with others who may benefit from our insights and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

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