66 - DJ Stutz and Making it Work in the Classroom 28/10/24

DJ Stutz is the mother of 5, grandma to 12 and auntie to 70. She is an early childhood specialist with over 20 years of classroom experience, a parent coach and hosts her own podcast, Imperfect Heroes: Insights into Parenting. Her focus is helping parents identify the values they want to instill and build the relationships to lead their children become independent, happy and productive adults.

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TRANSCRIPTION

Welcome to the Every Brain Is Different podcast. We are here with DJ Studs and DJ is the mother of five, grandma to 12 and auntie to 70. She is an early childhood specialist with over 20 years of classroom experience, a parent, coach, and host her own podcast, imperfect, heroes, insights into parenting. Her focus is helping parents identify the values they want to instill and build the relationships to lead their children to become independent, happy, and productive adults.

Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for coming. Well, thanks for having me. And I need to update my bio a little bit. We just found out grandchild 13 is on the way. So awesome. Congratulations. That's so fun. Crap. Yeah, that's awesome. Um, can you tell us a little bit more about how you're involved in the neurodivergent community?

Yes. So, uh, one of my sons, the younger one, um, is like big time ADHD. And in fact, his pediatric neurologist told me that of all the kids that he's treated, my son, Christian, Was in the top five of being involved. So that was an adventure So I get it from the mommy point of view but I also get it from the teacher point of view as well because I Have 20 years in the classroom.

I had many children come through who were neurodivergent and in fact The last couple of years, I actually had more IEP, which is an individualized education plan. Um, I had more kids with IEP than I was legally supposed to, but I could manage them and we did well and they did well. And so, um, I've just had a lot of experience with that.

Plus with my degree and early childhood specialist and, um, continuing ed and doing all of those things to stay on top of things. Yeah, that's awesome. Um, how has being a mom to a neurodivergent kid affected how you teach? And how has your teaching affected how you parent? Whoa, great question. Um, because they both really affected each other hugely, hugely.

So I actually stayed at home. I was an at home mom until Christian was. In elementary school, and that's when I went back and got my teaching certifications and did all that college and, and stuff. And so when I started out, I didn't know a lot of things. And in fact, I didn't know what I didn't know. Yeah, right.

I just knew that, um, he was struggling some teachers. He did awesome with and other teachers. It was just a constant, constant battle, getting notices every day, picking up the phone. What did he do now? Right. We have all of those experiences as a mom. And so then when I did start teaching, I knew more about how to talk to a parent because I know how judged I felt and how exasperated and exhausted and loving my child and wanting the best for him and not quite understanding how to get there.

And in fact, that's what led me. In many ways into the parent coaching, because I found myself coaching parents with neurodivergence or with other behavior issues. Um, and, and how we can work together. And I approached it in that way. And then two, part of the reason I think that I wound up with so many kids in my classroom.

Was um, other teachers would be like, I can't handle him or her and she's horrible or never stops and they're moving around all the time. And you know, all those things that parents hear. And, uh, and so I'd be like, bring them to my classroom either for a day, for a break for the teacher. And oftentimes that break was for the kid.

If you have a teacher with that kind of an attitude, that is so hard on these kiddos. And so, um, And then some more, very often I would, they would still be struggling. I'm like, I don't have any trouble with them. Let's just move them into my classroom. We're fine. But part of that was not getting so stressed out, you know.

So your kid talks. All right. Well, let's find a way to make that work for the classroom. Your child has to move around. Great. So I had kids, I, um, I have, I would get a big hula hoop, right? So I taught kindergarten. So we do circle time and yet I would have kids that just couldn't sit that long. Great. You know what?

I have this hula hoop nose usually kind of towards the back and you can move around as much as you want. As long as you're staying in the hula hoop. What? I can move around. Yep, stay in the loop and you're good to go, right? And, and then all of a sudden they're doing better. Um, so I would have kids who, uh, would struggle during instruction time, during story time, whatever it is, but sometimes Depending on the child, I could set them at a table and give them a picture that had to do with the story that we're reading.

Here's your crayons, just color while we're going. Now, when they had to sit and be on the carpet or whatever you've got them sitting on, and you're telling them you have to sit still. That's all their brains can process. I'm sitting still, I'm not moving, I'm not touching my neighbor, but I really want to, right?

And so, they are so working on that, that they're not hearing the story, they're not getting the instructions. But, if they could sit at the table, color, and then I would ask a question, and every time, I never had this not happen, the kid would be like, Oh, this is it! You're exactly right. And so, cause they were free now to listen to whatever was going on because they didn't have to have to put all of their energy into sitting still, not touching my friend, crisscross applesauce.

I hate that. And so all of those things, right? Well, I can't crisscross applesauce. I got something going on with my hips. So if I couldn't do it, how could I ask the kids to do it? So. You know, we had different things that were going on. Um, and then to, uh, offering choices. So if I had a kid, in fact, I had the principals in my classroom.

She was observing a specialist, you know, for their thing. And so I was sitting back, letting the specialist take it. And I had one little guy. And he was known in our school, but oh, he's so cute and so adorable and I love this kid. But you know, he had been adopted from a foreign country. He had had terrorized first 18 months of his life.

Here we are just in kindergarten. He's figuring all of this stuff out still. And so, and I'm an adoptive mother as well. Our youngest we adopted out of foster care. She'd been, she was 12 and she'd been in foster care for seven years. So my heart was there with this little guy too. So I just quietly got up, sat down next to him.

And I said, it looks like this is a hard place for you to listen. I don't think this is a good spot for you. And he just kind of looked at me and I said, can you look and find a place that would be good for you to sit and listen? He's like, yeah, I can find that. Like, okay, go do that. And I had, we call them sit upons.

I didn't have a big carpet. So the kids each had their own thing that, so take your sit upon. And you go find a place that's going to work for you. He got up, moved, sat down, no more problems. And my principal is like, I've never seen that before. That worked so well for him. So helping them to have choices or another child I had that was on the spectrum and I was told he came into the class later in the year.

This was like in November and you have to have someone on him all the time you have to, he, and they brought in this cube chair. Which, okay, I'm fine with cube chairs if that's what the kids need. And they have, there was a tray that fit on top of that. They make that. But they had, like, used industrial Velcro to connect the tray to the chair.

And it was more, he couldn't get out. He was like, no, yes, yeah. And so when they brought that in, I'm like, What is this? She goes, no, it works for him. He loves it. He's good. Well, we'll try it. So, he comes into my class the first day and he had an A. Now, you sit down here and she's like being all, with him. And so, you could see he didn't want to or whatever.

Um, but I wanted to see how that worked for him for that first day. I wasn't not, I was not convinced. And so, then the next day he came in and I said, hey buddy, how you doing today? I'm good. I want to sit here and he pointed to. our circle. I said, okay. And his age was like, Oh no, he can't do that. I'm like, we're good here.

And I said, so here's the deal for you to sit in our circle. This is what you need to do to stay in the circle. And it was like, sit still, don't touch, listen, you know, all those things. I said, but if that doesn't work for you, if you're sitting in the circle and you find that it's too hard, you can always choose to go back to the cube chair, but it's your choice.

I made it his choice. And so he sat there for a little bit. He started, you know, doing his little thing. I'm like, Oh, it looks like you are choosing the cube chair. And that's fine. I'm fine with that. No, no, I don't want to. Oh, okay. Well, you know, the rules to stay here. Yeah. I'm like, okay, let's see you do it.

And so it wasn't ever like, you're not being well, or you're not doing this or that, and you go over and sit here never, ever, ever, but just to say, Oh. It looks like you're making this decision. I'm good with that. Um, and it calms them, it calms them down, and it helps them to feel validated that they are not A bad kid, right?

That all these, all these things that go on. I, for, there was a year right before COVID that I was an administrator at a community college children's lab, and so I was helping students who are coming through for their degree to Uh, do observations and all of this and it was funny in one of the classrooms.

We had a little boy who was a pistol

And um, so And you know, he was known for hitting knocking over towers uh rumbling up other kids papers all of that and so all the other kids knew to like If this kid was near me, I might not be safe. I might be in a lot of trouble or whatever. Okay. So as I was helping this teach and we were doing this observation, we're in the observation room.

I saw one little girl come crying to her teacher, Joey hit me, I'm thinking, Joey's absent today.

He was so used to blaming Joey for everything that had gone wrong in their classroom that even when he wasn't there, he was still getting blamed, you know? And so we really have to check our attitudes as teachers, as parents, as neighbors, as aunts and uncles. All those things, check that because when you go in and you see, oh, here comes Joey and he's always trouble, right?

Even grandparents will do this sometimes. Um, and so they set themselves up in a mental posture, in a physical posture to then expect the worst and you get what you expect. Yeah, for sure. Um, my son had that at school where there was an altercation with another student and my son was blamed for what happened.

And I said, well, what, you know, like what happened? And they're like, well, this kid would never lie. Oh, so they've shown themselves as idiots from the. And I was like, well, my son doesn't like either. Like you can tell when if he lies, you just say, are you telling the truth? And he'll be like, no. Michael, my son doesn't like either.

So why do you believe those kids over my son? And they're like, well, and it was because. My son was disruptive. He was like, in quotes, like the bad kid, you know, he was very disruptive in class. He didn't like going to school. And so every time something happened, they automatically believe the other students.

And I'm not saying if he was in the right or in the wrong in the situation, I don't know. But just the fact that they were like, he's lying. Um, so yeah, definitely, I think you bring up a really good point that teachers and parents need to check their judgment and just expect the best from kids, like expect that they'll do their best.

Because I think that the kids can feel when you think that they're going to make a mistake or they're not good or they get so many negative comments. I heard that, I think I said this in another one, they get like 20, 000 more negative comments than positive ones. So if you can just be that positive person in their life and expect.

them to do good things or like Not productive, but you know what? I mean, like just expect the best from them Then they'll probably have better behavior for you. And if they're not having like Appropriate behavior then find out the reason why and don't just expect don't just say oh it's because they're a bad kid Right.

They're not doing things like that. Exactly. And I think, too, I mean, we do need to expect our children, no matter what is going on, to have safe behavior, to have, you know, a learning mindset to, you know, all of those things. And some kids, we just need to teach it in a different way than some other kids, every child.

I figure every child's a neurodivergent in some way. We all are. We all have our own Ways of learning our own ways of reacting to other people or, or to stress and anxiety to fear all those things. And so, you know, everybody has their own way. Um, but I, and so I do, uh, want to say it's, it's fine and important to have consequences for.

Behaviors, but they need to know ahead of time going in, especially if they're neurodivergent, um, and what the expectations are. And if they surprise you, which they will, Oh, wow. Didn't see that coming, right? Yeah, for sure. Oh, okay. So we've got to come up with a plan. Cause this isn't okay. I'm a teacher. I'm data driven.

And so when I'm coaching families, one of the main things I first things I do is I have them take a week and just document. What was the problem? How was it handled? Who was involved? What time was it? Where were they? You know, and so we're getting a bunch of data that then we can go back and look and say, Oh, Joey seems to have a harder time when Susie's around.

It seems like Susie's involved with a lot or this time of day or when he's supposed to. To accomplish this task, is he hungry? Is he tired? Is he, you know, and I say he, I just had my grandson with us. So, um, I'm using, I don't know, I find myself doing that. It's either, it's either gender. But, um, so when you get the data, and so if you go in and the teacher is saying, And so staying calm and just say, okay, so how often is this happening?

Well, it happens all the time. No, no, no. Like, you know, ask them for the data, ask them for more information. And if they're not tracking that they should be, but if they're not tracking that, then you can say, I'll tell you what, let's go for a week and. Let's get the data on like, is it certain subjects? Is it sitting by certain kids?

Is it a certain time of day? Um, all of those things that are going on. And so now you're coming in not an angry, I'm going to protect my child parent, but a curious parent that says, I want to know more. Let's see what's going on here. That's going to, um, because a lot of times teachers do get an angry parent who is my kid would never.

And I'm just telling you, you start a sentence with that. My kid would never, I don't care how you end it. You're an idiot. So just any child given the right circumstances. Same with adults, right? And so let's go in with an open mind. Yeah. Maybe my child and probably my child was inappropriate at, at some level there.

And so let's figure out what's going on so that we can truly help them and not just, you better sit still, or you're not gonna, you know, Watch your iPad for eight days or whatever it is instead of going in with that attitude. It's like hey, buddy So what's going on? So your teacher tells me that this is happening at this time or this is happening with this and I wouldn't even ask them Like so, what do you think is happening?

But I would say how do you think we can fix that now? They're part of the answer. Yeah, I don't know where I heard it. But someone said to say what was your plan? So when you did this, what was your plan? What did you expect to happen? And I thought that was so awesome. Um, just to understand where they're thinking.

Cause you're not like blaming them. You're not saying, Oh, this was wrong. You're just like, what were you thinking? What was your plan? And I feel like that's less of a demand on them. Then what were you thinking? Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Cause they don't know. Generally they don't know. Yeah. Or you say, why did you do that?

I don't know why I did it. I just did it. Yeah. So that's what I get a lot from my kids. I don't know. I'm like, I don't know. Okay. Well, all right. So, or when a kid, when your child comes to you or for me, often students and complaining about something instead of jumping in to solve the problem, don't solve your kid's problems.

Please don't do it. They have to learn how to do it on their own. Or they're going to become adults. And we see them all over the place who. Who can't manage because someone disagreed with them or they got triggered by that. You got triggered. Excuse me, right? And so When we can say something like wow, that really sounds like a problem.

What are you going to do about it? I am so excited to see all of the great ideas that you're gonna have on how to Blah blah blah now they're thinking and they're part of that problem solving and you're gonna see so much growth That will jump in if you just will back off and no, I'm not solving your problems, you know And you're big now.

There's some that are honestly big enough that you've got to jump in and whatever But I would say 80 of the time when they come to you They're just used to you solving everything. They want mom to fix everything or dad to fix everything where you're going to um facilitate their growth and and their social skills By saying, wow, yeah, that sounds really frustrating.

What, what do you think you should do about that? I'm so excited to see what you do. Right. Turns things around and you're going to see a ton of growth. Yeah. Um, I just did a lesson on that in our parenting program where we talked about enabling versus encouraging versus discouraging independence and encouraging versus discouraging comments that you can make to your kid when they have an issue.

So when I first read it, I was like, Oh, like encouraging. So you can say like, this is what we're going to do, whatever. Um, but. Yeah. The discouraging, I didn't think about it in the way that they presented it. It was positive discipline. They presented it as you are discouraging your child when you don't allow them the independence and the autonomy to fix their own problems because you're doing everything for them.

So they're going to grow up expecting everyone to solve their problems. Just like you said, they're not going to know what to do when they have a situation present itself. And they need to problem solve. They're not going to be able to problem solve if you're just doing everything for them. And even if, you know, they're teeny tiny, even if they're toddlers, you can say, okay, what are we going to do to fix this?

And they can help solve it. Yeah. I love it. so much. You're also teaching them. I don't trust you. Yes, I don't trust you to be strong enough. I don't trust you to be kind enough I don't trust you to be smart enough. And So then they grow up thinking while I'm incapable. Mm hmm, and then that leads to a lot more anger And other big issues as they get older.

Yeah, and then They also get a lot of comments. I feel like neurodivergent kids get a lot of comments that they're not capable of doing things because they're doing it the wrong way, where in reality, they're not doing it the wrong way. They're doing it the a typical way. Maybe they're not doing it the typical way that.

Someone would do it, but they're not wrong. They're just different. And so if you're constantly solving their problems and then they're told in other areas, Oh, you're doing that wrong. Then they're not going to trust themselves at all. When really they should be able to trust themselves and just do it their way because their way is fine just because it's not everyone else's way.

Yeah. Well, and too, when you look at some of the most successful people in the world are neurodivergent. Yes. Yes. They look at a situation differently. I don't do it the regular way. I'm going to do it this way. And then it just becomes a blessing to society. And so I really want parents to not feel like, uh, any kind of a diagnosis is a death sentence for their child.

The richest man in the world is on the spectrum. Yes. Um, I was talking to someone about that this morning that the, um, when I know someone that was diagnosed and the doctor told this kid's mom, you will never, he will never get married. He will never have a job. He will never live independently. And now this kid, 12 years later, he's in high school.

He's doing amazing. And he has friends. Oh, they said he would never have friends. But he, he has friends. He's like in the drama club. He has plans for the future. And so. Yeah, don't let people tell you that your kid doesn't have any like prospects in life, I guess, like they're going to be just fine. My son that I've been talking about, he is actually a cop and he's the one that is bringing my 13th grandchild.

So three kids in that family. And, um, you know. He's a golfer. He's he's just someone who has to move around and be busy a desk job would probably kill him But and now actually he's not on the road anymore. He does accident reconstruction For fatal accidents on the road with Highway Patrol, so he's busy doing but he has a bright future He's a great kid.

He's hysterical actually, but so Don't don't limit your child. Don't believe those things. So I'll let you in on a little secret. So when I was young, I had a hearing deficit that was unidentified. So. I was just told I don't listen, that I'm a problem, I don't follow instructions, I talk too loud, all those things, and, uh, because I could hear loud noises, and when I was in sixth grade, I had my first, I'm old, I know, I had my first, um, hearing test, and I failed it, miserably, and they're like, she can't hear, but I didn't know any different, because that's all I'd ever heard, I, I didn't know I couldn't hear, so I wound up, it was surgically repaired, what happened was I had, Extra skin growing around my eardrum.

And so, so it was like everything was muffled all the time. So I might hear someone talking and I wouldn't quite understand what they were saying because it was muffled. And in fact, for the three months after I had the surgery, I was just crying because I didn't know why people were yelling at me all the time.

Yeah. Oh, that's so sad. So, but my heart really goes out to these kids that have these labels. You know, my parents, they didn't know any different. They just thought I was this, you know, difficult child and blah, blah, blah. And um, so just really, when you get flustered, when you find yourself tensing up because someone's coming over or whatever, really check that in yourself and stop and see.

And the reality is you probably just need to get to know that kid or that person better. And understand what their needs are. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great point. Just to understand them better, understand what they like, understand what their triggers are and do your best to help them. I think that's fantastic.

Um, so I have loved our conversation and I love that you, before I even answered, before I even. Ask some of the questions I was going to ask you would talk about what I was going to ask. And I just think that it just made me so happy. But, um, thank you. What? Resources you have for parents that you would recommend either you produce yourself or that others have made that you would recommend.

I know you have a book. I do. Let me see. Get the right hand up. Yeah, it is. Yes. So my book is called Roman is bigger. We're working with the artist right now to do another one on Roman, but. Roman has big feelings and big emotions. And so he is bigger than happy. He is bigger than mad, bigger than silly, you know.

And so it's about him going on and finding the right word to truly express how he is feeling. Um, and it's just a fun story. So, uh, in the back, there's a lesson plan for teachers. I know, always the teacher. And there's a parent page that gives different activities you can do to Help expand your child's vocabulary as well.

So, yep, there's that book. And then, of course, the podcast, Imperfect Heroes, insights into parenting. And, um, then also I do a workshop called Parent Perspectives. It's free once a month. We have a theme. So like this month, we're talking about the progression of teaching and developing kindness in our kids.

There's actually a progression of learning that takes place. And if you understand that, you're going to have better successes. At doing that, but so you can register for that on my website, which is www. littleheartsacademyusa. com and just look on parenting, parent perspectives and click there to register.

It's free. And, um, it's the fourth Thursday of every month. If you can't make it when you register, you'll also have access to the replays. Awesome. That is so great. Thank you. Well, thank you so much for being on the show today. We really appreciate your time and all the insights that you provided. Thank you.

Thanks for having me. Yeah, for sure.

Well, Lauren, what did you think? Everything she talked about, and she preached a lot of the stuff that I. Try to preach when training, um, a few things that stood out. And I, I think it was just funny because I essentially read the situation this morning, researching other things. Um, I was shocked about how as parents really like kind of defeating to get phone calls from school, like your child did this, you need to come get your child, like things like that.

And I was looking up the review for. A certain school in area. And that was one of the things a couple of parents were like, like, don't go there because they call you every day over like small things. It's like an inconvenience to them and it makes you feel like you're a terrible parent, like can't do anything.

Right. And like you as a parent do not need to be hearing that if you're already struggling because your child has like a neurodiversity like stop as educators and, and therapists like, stop doing that or, or do a positive sandwich. Hey, yeah, really excelled in this little issues over here, but we're working on it.

And then they really did great doing this. Like we need to start. So parents don't feel defeated. And it, it breaks my heart when I, when I hear those stories, cause it shouldn't be like that. I mean, yeah, I got those, yeah, I got those calls all school year last year, and I felt like they thought I was a terrible parent because my kid was doing things at school that were totally out of character for him to do at home.

And I was like. I promise I'm not letting him, like, get away with doing this stuff at home. So what, so my question was, what is happening at school that's causing him to do these things? Yeah. And they would call me for, I wish, That schools would call you and tell you about problems before they became so big that they're going to suspend your child.

Like, why is the first call that I'm getting, Hey, you need to come pick up your kid because he's been doing this and now it's escalating. And you have to come pick him up and he's suspended for the day. Okay, why didn't you tell me when this problem started? And you don't have to tell me every day that it's happening, you know, but why didn't you tell me when it started?

So I was aware and I could talk to him about it before you're suspending him. Yeah. You know? So yes, thank you. And I will say it is so defeating as a parent to have a kid at school doing things they don't do at home. And you don't know why they're doing it. And so then you feel like the school is judging you because your kid is doing all these things.

And I, I always joke like my oldest son, he hates school. He was a disruptive one. He's the one that got suspended. And then my youngest son, he Is fantastic at school and like golden child and I'm like, well, at least I know it's not my parenting because I parent them, you know, I'm the parent of both of them, but then I got to thinking about that.

I was like, but my oldest son isn't a problem child. You know, I'm not trying to say that it was just mostly a joke, like, Oh, you know, they, they're different and. But then we had to really look at, okay, what is causing my son to do these things at school? And I think that is an important question that oftentimes schools don't ask.

They're just like, well, he's not following the rules. Well, why? Why? Like, like we always say on this podcast, there is a reason for the behavior. Yeah, that's what else I wanted to, the issue brought up is like really The fun, what is the function of the behavior? Be curious. Ask why? Like, there are so many things that can be setting events that lead to being triggered into a challenging or negative behavior.

Like, take the time and step back and look at why. And then again. Uh, just for teachers and like the field of fam, data collection is a real important thing so that we can find out these things, these trends, like, okay, this is happening every time at this time of day, like let's really evaluate what's happening during that time to like, I don't know, just take the time to be curious guys.

Yeah. Yeah. Be curious for sure. Be better off. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Um, something else that, uh, she talked about and you talked about as well. Um, and we kind of here, I call it unconditional positive regard. So I'm looking at, like, I'm here to support you. I'm here to, like, as a parent, I'm here to love you. As a teacher, I'm here to teach you.

And no matter what you're doing, whether it's challenging, problematic, whatever, I'm here to help you work through it. Like, I'm not gonna label you as the bad kid or the problematic kid or whatever. Like, I'm looking that you are trying your best. Like you said, just assume that they're doing their best and, and having that.

Again, unconditional positive regard. And it's not giving them permission to be bad or whatever. It's just they're knowing that you're not going to label them and that you're going to help them. Um, and I think that, uh, is really important. And then also, and you guys said that, like, check yourselves. How are you speaking about this child in front of other people that now the class problems are because of this kid, even when she kid's not there.

Like, and so that's something that we really. Base stuff off of your own experience with the child or whoever that you're working with and do not talk negatively about them with other people, or especially with other people that have to interact with them because then you set them up for failure, telling them that they're doing this, this, and this, I'm going into the situation expecting this, this, and this, and I'm not happy about it, versus if you, you know, focus on the good things and the strengths, Then I'm going to go in with a more open mind and a positive mind and just don't, don't set you just there up for failure.

Yeah. Yeah. Really. Exactly. Important. Yeah. Yeah. I really like all those things like that she mentioned and you just talked about one thing that she said that I think is super important is movement for kids. Yeah. And Dr. Gilly Khan, who we had on the podcast, she posted this on. And I just want to read what she posted.

It's a carousel. So it will be a minute, but I think it's so important. It says, does movement help ADHD years? Concentrate a study, including 24 kids with ADHD and 24 without had the kids perform psychological tests. Some of the kids had to complete the task while cycling while others had to sit at a desk.

Here's what they found. The kids with ADHD who were moving during the task did better than the other kids. Also, movement only benefited ADHD kids. Neurotypical kids did worse when they moved around while they, while trying to work. But that's not all. The researchers also found that when ADHD kids were permitted to move, this increased blood flow to the left prefrontal area, which is associated with concentration and better control over behavior.

This may be why movement improves task performances in ADHD children. I just thought that was amazing. Like, We have anecdotal evidence that, you know, when kids move, like she said, like the kid was coloring and then raised his hand and answered a question, but there's actual, like, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I wanted to elaborate on that because I get that like. Um, I, I'm a trainer so people come in and there are some certain boring parts of training. They have to watch videos and it's really boring and terrible and I totally acknowledge that. And they're like, I'll walk by and they're like, Oh, I'm sorry, I'm giggling or whatever.

It helps me pay attention. And I'm like, I purposely have like coloring books, crayons and markers and blank paper. So that if that is how you better obtain information or helps you focus by. Being active in doing something else, by all means do that, like, you do not need to apologize to me for the way that you've learned.

Yeah, yeah. To be open to that and who cares if they're running around in their little hula hoop. It's better for them to do that and retain information than, like she said, like all they're focused on is trying to be, not move, and so they're not hearing what you're saying, because they're too busy trying to do that.

Do what you told them to do. That's just the standard that made up. Yeah. I don't know who came up with that standard that you have to be like eyes forward, sit still hands in lap, like. Lots of people don't learn like that. They can't concentrate like that. So just if they need to move, let them move and put them, they say, well, it's a, it's a, um, distraction to other kids, right?

So put them in the back of the class. Behind the kids that don't need to move, and then they won't be a distraction because the kids don't even see them. Yeah. There, I solved it. Solved it all. No, um, I understand that it's hard. I really, um, feel for teachers who have all these different learners in their classroom.

I understand it's hard to accommodate everyone's needs. I don't want to sound like, oh, you should just be able to do this because I know it's hard. Even when I'm doing music therapy groups, and I only have six kids in the group, it's hard to accommodate all their needs. Well, and then also as a teacher, you're getting like, okay, well, I'm making this accommodation for this student.

And then you find out that, you know, the parent of another student is like, well, that's not fair. And then you get that backlash from that parent. And like, I'm sure it's exhausting as a teacher. Absolutely. Yeah. I, there's a reason why I, okay. I did substituting for one day. Like 12 years ago and that school called me, well, I had a different job, so I was only able to do it the one day and I really liked it.

Wow. Was it exhausting? It was so exhausting just to be. In that first grade classroom, trying to deal with all the children and I was like, and I didn't have to come up with any of like the plans or anything. I just followed the plan. But yeah, teachers definitely don't have an easy job, especially when they have to accommodate all the different learners, and they don't just try to.

enforce their will or their way of learning on all the students. I really respect teachers when they actually like do make accommodations even though it's hard and I really appreciate them. So I feel like sometimes we get down on the education system but I know that teachers are just doing their best.

So we're just providing them advice. Yeah. To be better. Yeah. In certain areas but we also know that there's struggles and bureaucracy and all of that stuff like we get it. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Um, well, thank you all for listening this week. Leave us a review if you would, be so kind, um, rate the podcast. You can DM us on Instagram or send us an email at everybrainisdifferent at gmail.

com or we're on Instagram at everybrainisdifferent. We would love to hear your thoughts on the podcast if you like, you know, if you like me and Lawrence Rand. Just let us know, what do you think? So, thank you all, and we will see you next week. Bye!