62 - Positive Parenting Strategies Myths 30/09/24

Positive parenting has gained significant popularity recently, yet many parents still question its effectiveness! Join Samantha and Lauren as they take on these doubts and explore the myths surrounding positive parenting strategies. This approach can be a game-changer for many families, making daily interactions smoother and more fulfilling! Stay tuned!

Here's what to expect on the podcast:

• Myths surrounding positive parenting.

• What makes positive parenting more effective compared to traditional discipline methods?

• How can parents build confidence in using positive parenting techniques, especially if they are new to this approach?

• The long-term benefits observed in children raised using positive parenting techniques.

• And much more!

Connect with Samantha Foote!

Website: www.boisemusictherapycompany.com

Email: [email protected]

Consultation: https://letsmeet.io/boisemusictherapycompany/30-mi…

Neurodiversity in Harmony: A Summit for Empowered Parenting https://www.boisemusictherapycompany.com/registrat…

Parenting with Confidence: https://www.boisemusictherapycompany.com/parenting…

TRANSCRIPTION

Are you ready to set your child up for success with confidence, even if they have unique needs? I'm Samantha, and I'm a board certified music therapist, parent to three neurodivergent kids, and creator of the Parenting with Confidence program. I'm here to help you navigate the neurodivergent world without getting completely overwhelmed.

In just eight weeks, you'll learn how to build a nurturing relationship with your child, grow Rooted in trust, empathy, and respect. You'll walk away knowing how to embrace their unique needs with a positive behavior approach and master flexible communication techniques. The program kicks off on October 3rd.

Join now, seats are limited. Visit www. boisimusictherapycompany. com to sign up today. This podcast is for parents like you, navigating the world of neurodiversity with love and compassion. I'm a neurodivergent mother of three amazing neurodivergent children and a board certified music therapist. Our mission is to create a supportive space where you feel understood, connected, and inspired.

With practical tips, strategies, and resources, we'll help you and your child thrive in your unique way. Join us as we dive deep into the diverse world of neurodivergent individuals exploring topics like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing challenges, and more. We'll cover it all to empower, educate, and uplift both neurodivergent individuals and those who walk alongside them.

Together we'll create a world where every brain is valued and celebrated. We're excited to embark on this enlightening journey with you. We are your hosts, Samantha Fuh and Lauren Ross, and this is the Every Brain is Different podcast.

Welcome to the Every Brain is Different podcast. It is Lauren and I here today. Lauren and me. It's Lauren and me. That was the wrong grammar. Anyway. Moving on, today we're talking about positive parenting strategies and how you can feel more confident in using them and what some myths are that surround positive parenting strategies.

So first we're going to start off with a story that I had this experience with my son. He was three years old and I did not use positive parenting strategies. We had a meltdown over an Xbox controller. I thought the night had gone very well. I gave him his favorite food. We had spaghetti and meatballs.

No sauce because sauce is of the devil according to my son. So he ate his food and then he said, Mom, can I play the Xbox? I was like, yeah, we have 15 minutes before we need to get ready for bed. No problem. Just play the Xbox. I'll let you know when it's time to get off and then we'll get ready for bed. He said, okay.

10 minutes goes by. I say five minute warning. You have five minutes left. Okay, mom. Five minutes. Okay. Bye. One minute. One minute warning. Okay, mom, one minute. Okay, it's time to get off the Xbox. He throws the controller on the ground. No, I don't want to get off! And this is where things took a turn, because I did not use positive parenting strategies, and I just said, Fine, if you don't get off the Xbox, you are, I will take the Xbox from you, you will not play for a week, and you're going to bed anyway.

Well, he did not like that, so I took the Xbox away, he ran to his room, proceeded to have a 45 minute meltdown. I felt like a failure as a parent. He did not feel very good about himself and he still didn't go to bed for like another 45 minutes. And he cried himself to sleep and that was awful. So what does a meltdown look like for him?

A meltdown is he was in his room. Screaming, crying, throwing things, yelling at me, like throwing things across the room. And then he would come out and yell at me and go back in his room. And he was three years old, so, you know, it was epic, but, um, but yeah, so that's what happened. And then he ended up just crying himself to sleep and I felt like a terrible parent.

And so, a few months later The same exact thing happened. We coincidentally also had spaghetti and meatballs that night. It was a perfect night. And then he said, Mom, can I play the Xbox before bed? And once again, I said, Yeah, no worries. Let's play it before bed. Fifteen minutes. And gave him the 10 minute warning, gave him the 5 minute warning, gave him the 1 minute warning, and once again, wouldn't you know it, when I told him it was time to get off the Xbox, he's like, no, I don't want to get off.

And this is where I chose to do things differently. I chose positive parenting strategies instead of just punishment. And I said, I, I got on his level. and validated his feelings. I said, I totally understand that you still want to play the Xbox. I understand that you don't want to go to bed. I know this is very hard for you, but we're going to put the Xbox away for now, and you can play it tomorrow.

But mom, I don't want to get off the Xbox. I know, I know, I know you don't want to get off the Xbox, and I gave him a hug. I validated his feelings, and I said, we're going to put it away for now, and then we're going to go and get ready for bed. And he said, He cried for a few more minutes, I gave him a hug, and then we went and got ready for bed.

I felt like a positive, I felt like a successful parent. He had a positive experience, all was well and he was in bed within 30 minutes and we didn't have an epic meltdown and I didn't feel like a failure. So that is why I know that using positive parenting strategies is one of the best things that you can do for parenting.

I love it. And I think the most important part about positive parenting is that it really helps you build a more, like a better connection and relationship with your kids. Like it's the one on trust and not fear. Yeah. We'll see how I think that happens with some other ways of parenting. Yeah. So. That's a good point.

Like you have empathy, you have validation. It's built on all those different things rather than fear of punishment. And some things that I found, there are some myths surrounding positive parenting that I found that prevent people from. You know, using positive parenting strategies. And the first one is, is that traditional parenting strategies are the only way to parent.

They think that, you know, people have been doing this for years and years and years, it's the only way to do it. But research actually demonstrates that positive parenting strategies are more effective than traditional approaches and fostering lasting behavioral changes in children. So unlike traditional methods, that often rely on repeated discipline and tactics.

Positive parenting focuses on nurturing a supportive relationship between parent and child by emphasizing those things that we just talked about, like understanding, empathy, clear communication, and it leads to building, um, more behavioral improvements that endure over time rather than with punishment.

You have to keep punishing them to get the reaction that you want, where positive parenting is actually teaching them new skills so that they can do, they can do the behavior that you want continuously instead of always having to punish them. Yeah. And I feel like sometimes eventually you're going to run out of a punishment.

Oh yeah. Eventually the punishment just doesn't work anymore. Cause or, or the worst thing that you can do is say you're going to punish them and then not follow through on that. Cause my son actually did this. I said. I'm not going to, when I get really, really mad sometimes and they want something, I'm like, I'm never going to buy you anything again, unless you get over here right now, you know, and they're like, mom, you say that all the time and you still buy us stuff and I'm like, well, you want to try me, right?

Yeah. So positive parenting is by far the best strategy, but if you're going to punish them, definitely don't say you're going to punish them and then not follow through on the punishment because. That just creates whole new realms of awful behavior. It just, it creates a power struggle, like empty, empty threats and ultimatums.

Like you end up just getting in to a power struggle. And then also if you end up not following through, like you look like a fool, yeah. And they don't trust you. They don't trust. So then they don't trust that you're going to give them what they, you know, like say you're giving them a reward or reinforcement or whatever for something they do.

They're not going to trust that you're going to give them that if you don't follow through on what you say you're going to do, you know? So I always put it like, if I want to go back on a punishment, I'll be like, do you want a chance to earn? This thing to earn it back instead of just giving it back to him, like, do you want a chance to earn it back?

And then that's a way that you can do it too. Yeah, but yeah, but just not falling through on the punishment. That's gonna create a monster. So you might not want to do that. You heard it here first. Yeah. Um, the second myth that I've heard about people using positive parenting strategies is that positive parenting is permissive.

And this is not permissive parenting. This is not just letting your kid do whatever they want. Uh, positive parenting is grounded in the belief that children thrive when they feel safe, understood, and supported. So, contrary to permissive parenting, which can lack boundaries. Positive strategies provides a framework of clear expectations and consistent guidance.

So you set limits with empathy and respect, and you help the children develop self discipline and problem solving skills. So you're nurturing, you're fostering a nurturing environment where both parents and children learn together, which cultivates mutual respect and understanding. So you still have the structure, you still have boundaries, you're not just letting them do whatever they want, but it's, uh, There's consequences for their actions.

So you say, you know, if you do this, then this is going to happen and make it a natural consequence. So like, if, for example, your kid is maybe older and they have to do their laundry and they don't get their laundry done. So then they don't have the shirt that they want to wear. It's not your job to fix that.

You know, like you told them, this is your responsibility. And if you don't get this done, then you're not going to have the clothes you want to wear. It's just. Simple as that, you know, but you want, you want logical consequences, not consequences that are like, if you don't do your laundry, I'm going to take away your favorite toy.

Yeah. Like that's not logical, you know? So, and it's not related. Yeah. It's not related at all. If you want it to be related to the task. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So yes, positive parenting is not permissive. It has boundaries. It has structure. But you're doing it in an empathetic and understanding way with logical consequences.

I think that's the, the biggest thing that I hear people say about positive parenting. It's like permissive or whatever. And then I get, they're not looking into the, yes, it does have consequences and we're just going about it in a positive way. Um, yeah. So, but I have heard that and have read comments and stuff on social media that.

Just let him get away with that and whatever, and on and on, and it's like, no, and if that's what you think it is, or if that's what was done to you, then that's not quite right. Yeah. Yeah. There's a difference between the two, so, and it's just like. Positive parenting isn't authoritarian parenting either, you know, where you say what I, you do what I say no matter what, but it's, it's connecting the two together, I think, so.

But the third myth that I've heard is positive parenting is time consuming. And this does have some truth to it, because it is time consuming on the front end, but, It can actually save you time in the long run because you're teaching your kid clear expectations, problem solving skills, and you're using consistent, you know, consequences so that they'll learn.

And so then in the end, you don't have to keep punishing them for the same thing over and over and over again. The goal with positive parenting is you take the time in the beginning to teach them the skills that they need, and then they're going to use those problem solving skills and to do the things that they need to do later on.

I think that kind of goes the kind of the phrase, like, choose your hard, like, um, I mean, to go back to your first example, the first meltdown, like you said, like, what, 45 minutes of, you know, going back and forth, crying and screaming versus taking that time to be empathetic and understanding at the front ended up eliminating all that time.

Of what would have been the meltdown. And so I think you have to think of it that way and like, choose your heart. Do you, do you want to take the time to do these positive parenting techniques and have less issues later? Or do you just want to be angry and have, you know, keep going back and forth in the power struggle with your child, like choose your heart, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like the few minutes it took me to calm my son down in the beginning. Prevented a 45 minute meltdown where if I'd have just taken those steps the first time we would never had the meltdown and he, you know, and it's not that easy every time, like sometimes your kids still do have meltdowns, but the meltdowns decrease in severity and frequency.

The longer you practice positive parenting. Exactly. I think that's another thing too, to keep in mind is sometimes we like. Oh, I tried it once. It didn't work. Like, yeah, practice, practice. It takes multiple attempts. It's not a one and done. Um, it's, it's kind of like building a new habit, um, or learning a new skill.

You have to do it over and over again. And I think sometimes we just want an easy fix. Yeah, it does take time it does take effort, but in the long run. It's fun. Yeah, for sure. So now we're going to talk about how to make this happen. Like how do you make positive parenting happen? How can you implement it in your home?

What can you do to connect with your child so both of you feel successful? And in our Parenting with Confidence program that we are registering for right now, we do, we have a framework that we use with this and it, um, starts with helping your child self regulate. Help you self regulate and then using positive parenting skills.

Because when your child is dysregulated, when they're having a meltdown, if you're also having a meltdown. You can't co regulate with them. You can't help them solve the problem. And so we teach you, like in the program, we teach you ways that you can understand your child, understand their behavior. And then we teach you how to stay regulated by using the positive parenting strategies.

So the first um, section that we have is understanding your child. So every brain is different, like the name of this show. And when you understand your child's specific brain, you can learn strategies that work for them, because not all strategies will work for every child. It's. You know, every child is different, whether they're neurodivergent or neurotypical, every child is different.

Um, and like we've talked about on this show before, there are different reasons for behavior. And if you can figure out the reason for the behavior, then you can figure out what you need to do to help with that behavior and to change it into something positive. So once again, the reasons for behavior might include intention or connection, where your child is looking for that connection with you.

Um, Traditionally, it's been called attention seeking, but I really like how they're changing it to connection seeking. So they're seeking a connection with you, they don't just want your attention, they want to feel that connection with you. And they can feel that whether you give them like positive attention or negative attention.

And the positive attention is when they do something good, you know, like you're playing a game together or, you know, you're praising them for their hard work or. Whatever, like it's good stuff that's happening and the negative attention is when they do something that maybe they shouldn't do and you're, and you get mad at them or you punish them.

Like they are getting the same dopamine hit by either one. So if you can. Do the positive attention more than the negative attention. Like when they do something that maybe they shouldn't be doing, kind of minimize your reaction and emphasize the positive and look for ways to connect with them, then that can really help with this and help with, um, promoting positive behavior, because they're just looking for a connection with you.

And if they. Get that. The easiest way to get that is by doing something they're not supposed to do, then they're going to do that thing, you know. Um, and the next one is escape or avoidance. So, you know, if they don't want to do something, if they don't like somewhere that they're at, if you ask them to do something and they don't want to do it, then they're not going to do it.

Then they're going to try to avoid that situation. And so they'll just leave or they'll do something to get out of it. And that goes right along with sensory triggers. So if you notice every time you go into a store, your child has a meltdown before you even like get fully in the store, it might be because of sensory triggers.

You know, the lights might be too bright. The lights might be too dim. The, which that's usually not the case in grocery stores, but. You never know and restaurants, maybe yeah, restaurants, maybe I know that I go into restaurants and I'm like, I can't see and it bugs me so bad, but it might be too hot, it might be too cold there.

They might not like all the people around them, it might be too noisy, you don't know. And so, if. You don't even say anything to your child, and you walk into the store, and they have a meltdown, any of those things could be going on, you know? They could be having, like, a reaction to their clothes that they're wearing right at the moment.

Maybe the tag is sticking out and bugging them. I don't know. There's so many different sensory things. Yeah, it could be the smell. I always forget about smell, because I can't smell. But But yeah, so sensory triggers are one. So let's say that the store is too loud, you might want to have your child wear noise canceling headphones when you go into the store.

If you know that the store is too cold, because that's usually what it is, you might want to bring a sweater for them to wear. There's just different things that you can do to help with the sensory triggers. They might have to wear sunglasses in the store if it's too bright, you know, different things like that.

And then the last thing for reasons for behavior is they want access to something that they want that they're not getting. So this could be they ask for a toy or they ask for something that they want. I don't know anything. Food, play, something. Food, yeah. If they want to go somewhere, anything like that, and they don't get what they want, that is another reason for behavior.

Um, and with that, you know, you can just say, this is what we're doing right now. Maybe we can do this later. This is what I say to my kids. Like, we're doing this now. Let's find a time where we can go do that other thing that you want. Or if they want a toy or something, like, I tell them straight out, like, I don't have the money for that right now.

Or we, you know, like, we don't have room for that in our house right now. Or something like that. Like, maybe we can get it later. Or maybe we can find a way for you to play with it somehow. Or something like that, you know. Not just, I don't know. Ignoring them and saying, well, we're just not getting that. And that's that, like you need to validate their feelings.

Like, I understand you want that. I understand that you really want that thing. I understand that you want to go to that place, but that can't happen right now. Maybe later we can make it happen, but it's, it can't happen right now. And I think validating goes a long way. Yeah. And I think also, and something I talk about, never just saying no.

You have to give options or alternatives or something like that. Um, because if you just say no, then I feel like they're gonna keep, keep going. Oh yeah. So giving them, like you said, like the reason why behind it, but also like alternatives. Like, no, we're not going to do that. But when we get home, you can have extra time with this toy or whatever it might be.

Like just giving those alternatives or solutions. Yeah, yeah, for sure. And because a lot of kids, especially neurodivergent kids, they, if you give them a reason why something needs to happen, they'll usually accept it and be like, oh, okay, like that makes sense, you know, but if you just say no straight out, they're just going to keep asking why until you give them a reason.

It's like, When my son doesn't want to do something, I tell him why he needs to do it, or why it needs to happen that way. Then he'll be like, oh, that makes sense, and then he'll be just fine. But if I don't give him a reason, he'll just keep, keep going and going and going and going until I lose my mind. I think that's true with adults too, though.

Like, you're gonna get more buy in when you tell people the why. Especially if there's changes, or no, this can't happen, or whatever. It goes a long way though, the why, but yeah, yeah, exactly. And also I just wanted to point out that when you're trying to understand your child, learn from other neurodivergent people.

Because they're going to be able to give you more insight into how, you know, like all neurodivergent people are different, no one's the same, but they do have that shared thing in common where they might be able to give you more insight into what's going on rather than just talking to like a neurotypical person who's never experienced that before.

So, the second thing in our framework is, um, your own self regulation. So, like we said before, if you're not self regulated, you can't help your child be self regulated. And there are many strategies to help you be self regulated, you know, including, I use music a lot. Um, my mom knew exactly how I felt when I was in high school.

When I came home to practice the piano, I would play a song. Like so many different ways, depending on my mood, I would play it angry. I would play it happy. I play it sad and she would know exactly how it's feeling. And that's how I got my emotions out. And that's how I self regulated because I would come home, especially from volleyball practice.

Ooh, I hated volleyball practice, but I loved playing volleyball. So I stuck it out. Um, I would listen to Lincoln park on the way home from volleyball practice every day. And I would be regulated by the time I got home. And if I didn't listen to it, then I would just be angry when I got home. And my mom would be like, what is wrong with you?

And so, you know, there's a lot of different ways that you can self regulate. You can do art, you can walk, you can take deep breaths, um, in the moment when your child is having a meltdown, if it's safe for you, you can step away. You can say, I need a few minutes. To collect myself, I will be back. Um, don't just like walk out on them because they'll probably follow you or something, but there's a lot of different ways to just.

keep you in like that self regulated state so that when something does come up, you're, you don't escalate as quickly. And so I would say to do these things not when you're escalated, but just before you start being escalated, you know? So do you have like a routine? Just build them into your routines. So if you go for a walk every day, if you do yoga, if you do whatever, whatever helps you be more regulated, do that.

And I mean, these are just some like stereotypical things, but they do, they help me a lot. So I don't know. Just whatever. If you like to have dance parties. Yeah. Legos. Legos. Legos. I love doing Legos by myself. I hate doing Legos with my kids. Oh. But if I can do it by myself, it's so relaxing. Everyone's always like, do Legos.

And I'm like, I hate Legos because I always did it with my kids. But when you do it by yourself, it's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Um, so yeah, let us know what your favorite strategies are with. I'd love to share them with other parents. So if anyone has any strategies that they really like to use, um, let us know.

Cause yeah, definitely love to share those. And just, you know, to help other parents know things that they can do because it is hard for parents to get. moments alone. So, you know, if there's something that you do with your kids, if there's something you do with your spouse, um, I don't know. I like axe throwing.

That's always good. Good times. Yeah. I'm not very good at it, but I like it. Oh, I'm not very good at it either, but I've lately been taking out my aggression, shooting things on video games. Nice. Shoot stuff and I feel better. So just keep yourself regulated so that you can help your kid regulate and then both of you will be less escalated all the time.

So we get the third thing in the framework is. Implementing positive parenting strategies. And this is really what the program Parenting with Confidence focuses on every week. It's an eight week course where we talk about a neurodivergent quality. So, you know, like sensory triggers or communication or different things like that.

We talk about a neurodivergent quality, and then we talk about a positive parenting strategy and we teach those. It's an eight week course. Like I said, in eight weeks, and we talk about like PathLot. pathological demand avoidance, stuff like that. And, um, so we go through each of those. And research shows, once again, that traditional parenting strategies such as punishment are not as effective as positive parenting strategies.

So positive strategies focus on connection with your child and positive reinforcement. One of my favorite positive discipline strategies for creating a deeper connection with your child is connection before correction. And I think we've talked about this before, but I just want to talk about it a little more, about why it's so important to have connection before correcting your child.

Um, the first reason is it builds trust and safety. It enhances, uh, emotional security. When children feel connected to their parents, they feel safe, loved, and understood. Good. Um, this emotional security is essential for them to be open to guidance and correction. Without this connection, correction can feel like criticism leading to resistance or defensiveness, and that's when power struggles come in, and you never want to get into a power struggle with children.

Yeah. Um, but it also builds trust. Um, so a strong connection fosters trust between parent and child. When a child trusts that their parent is coming from a place of care and understanding rather than a punishment state of mind, they are more likely to respond positively to correction. And then the second thing it does is reduces power struggles.

So you have cooperation over compliance. Like compliance isn't the goal of positive parenting. Positive parenting, it's really just cooperation and understanding between the parent and the child. So connection reduces the likelihood of power struggles. When children feel connected, they are more likely to cooperate willingly rather than simply complying out of fear or pressure.

And this leads to more harmonious interactions and a more positive family dynamic. And that also leads to more empathy and understanding. So by prioritizing connection, parents can better understand the reasons behind their child's behavior. And this empathy helps in addressing the root cause of the behavior rather than just the symptoms, making corrections more effective.

It's like when we had Dr. Sekreski on our show, and he said, um, Curious, not furious. And so get curious about your child's behavior. Why are they doing what they're doing? Because any negative behavior is just, they're not doing it just to do it. There's something missing. So get curious, not furious. And I will say that forever.

That's amazing. I love it. Yeah. And then the third thing, um, that connection before correction does is it promotes emotional regulation. So when children feel emotionally connected, they are better able to regulate their emotions. And this connection can help calm them down in stressful situations, making them more receptive to correction and guidance.

Um, part of this is also you modeling behavior. So parents who pro Prioritize connection, model calm and constructive behavior. Children learn to manage their emotions in complex and healthier ways by observing their parents approach to connection before correction. So if you're modeling, you know, a positive way to self regulate, then your child is going to imitate what you're doing.

With my kids, um, with my middle son, especially I'll say, okay, I'm going to take some deep breaths. You want to take deep breaths with me? And he's like, no, I'm like, well, I'm going to take deep breaths. And then you can join me if you want to. And he always like starts to hyperventilate and then he'll slowly like get the breast going.

But if I just got mad, then he would start crying. And then none of us would be, you know, self regulated and that just escalates into meltdowns and nobody likes that. So, and I found, you know, deep breaths might not work for your child, but that's what works for him. So that's what I've done with my daughter.

I say, do you want a hug? Like, I'm just going to give you a hug. And that's what calms her down. So there's different things that, you know, you just have to find the right thing that calms your kid down. And that's what we talk about in the program is different ideas, different strategies that might work for you and your child.

Um, and the fourth thing that connection before correction, um, enhances is long term positive behavior. And we've talked about this, how. Positive parenting strategies in general fosters long term positive behavior, but connection before correction really enhances internal motivation. When connect, when correction is grounded in connection, children are more likely to internalize the values and lessons being taught.

This means they learn to make positive choices, not because they fear punishment, but because they understand and agree with the reasoning behind them. And so this in turn strengthens your relationship with your child, um, by prioritizing connection, strengthen, um, you can strengthen the parent child relationship over time, making future corrections easier and more effective as a child grows.

This strong connection becomes a foundation for guiding them through more complex challenges as they get older. The key thing that I keep kind of going back to in my head is like when you're doing these things, they're going to, I think they're going to be more successful as they get older with conflict resolution and things like that.

And again, emotional regulation and being able to express themselves appropriately. Um, because I feel like this is a problem in today's world. Yeah. Adults don't know how to do that. And I think if you can start out young,

Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Like teaching them, these skills can only enhance their relationships as they get older and it will help them like in their friendships and dating and marriage with their own kids is the earlier they learn these skills, the better off they'll be throughout their life. Um, because I agree with you, there are some people that don't know how to manage their emotions and it shows, so don't let your kids be one of those people.

Um, Yeah, so if anyone has any questions about any of this, let us know, um, the group, the program starts on October 3rd, and we'll have the link for it in the show notes if you want to sign up for that. It is a live program, so we do it every Thursday at 1. 30 Mountain Standard Time, and then We have the replays available for those who can't make the live call.

Um, but yeah, so that's what we're doing, the Positive Parenting with Confidence program. Um, some of the most common questions I get is, uh, what kind of music do we use? Because I'm a music therapist, everyone assumes that I'm just teaching music skills, but That is not true. Like in the parenting with confidence program, if music is appropriate for your child, I will definitely teach you how to use that, but if it's not appropriate or it's not working for your child, like we don't really do a lot of music stuff within the program.

It's mostly teaching about neurodivergence and positive parenting skills. And we talk about music a little bit just for self regulation, but it's not really like a core concept in the program. Um, And then another question that I get is, do I have to use all these strategies? And this is more like a buffet.

Like we've said before, take what works for you and your family, ditch the rest, don't even worry about it. If it doesn't work for you and your family, then don't use it. These are all just ideas for you to use. And I think you remember, like, if you have multiple children, like, you might be parenting each children differently.

Based on their needs. Cause like, like we say, every, every, every brand is different. Everybody is different. Everyone's going to respond differently to, to different things. And that's okay. Like, it doesn't have to be, if you have multiple kids, it doesn't have to be just a flat straight out. Like, this is how it's going for all three.

Like, like you said, like you hug your daughter, you do deep breaths with your middle child, like it can look like that you're still being successful. Yeah, yeah, and if you find something that we don't teach, that's cool, too. Like, these are just meant to get your brain flowing with new ideas of how you can positively parent your children instead of using punishment or things that may not have been working in the past.

So, we talk about, like, IEP accommodations, what you can do for the school, um, different things like that. So, yeah. That's cool. Thank you all for listening today. We really appreciate it. Hope you got something from this. Let us know, um, what you would like to hear on future episodes. We'd love to hear your feedback and leave us a review and subscribe to this show if you would be so kind to do that.

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