55 - Lonelle Madsen and Sexual Relationships 12/08/24

For generations, discussing sex within the family, especially with children, has been considered taboo. This pattern needs to be broken! Join Samantha as she speaks with Lonelle Madsen about the importance of talking to your children about sexual relationships. Parents need to recognize the importance of being the primary source of information on this topic! Stay tuned!

Here's what to expect on the podcast:

• Challenges Lonelle faced in her own life that led her to become an advocate for sexual education within families.

• How can parents of neurodivergent children approach conversations about dating, relationships, and sex with their child?

• Start having open and honest conversations with children about relationships and self-awareness from a young age.

• Create a safe environment for children to ask questions and learn about sexual relationships without shame or taboo.

• And much more!

About Lonelle:

Lonelle Madsen is dedicated to empowering parents in their sacred mission to raise children who are confidently prepared for the complex world of dating, relationships, and sex. Embedded deep in her is the conviction to create a strong foundation for families whereby they can navigate through societal pressures while upholding their treasured values. As a seasoned expert, she offers a unique blend of personal experience and professional acumen to equip parents for this crucial responsibility.

Lonelle's own story, marked by early sexual encounters leading to a young pregnancy and a tumultuous journey through the sex industry, serves as a powerful testimony of resilience. Her personal experience has fed directly into her commitment to assisting young people and their parents in making confident, wise choices concerning relationships and sexual intimacy. Her fight also extends to addressing and mitigating the damages of mental health conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)- a disorder often associated with sexual trauma and abandonment.

With a first-hand experience of BPD through her daughter's struggle, Lonelle deftly weaves this awareness into her approach to product development and mentoring, enabling her to identify and respond to the personal pain points of her clientele that set her apart in her field.

Connect with Lonelle Madsen!

Website: https://armiesofhelaman.my.canva.site/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lonelle.madsen

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lonelle.madsen/

Connect with Samantha Foote!

Website: www.boisemusictherapycompany.com

Email: [email protected]

Consultation: https://letsmeet.io/boisemusictherapycompany/30-mi…

Neurodiversity in Harmony: A Summit for Empowered Parenting https://www.boisemusictherapycompany.com/registrat…

TRANSCRIPTION

Are you feeling overwhelmed by your child's unique needs? Wondering how to turn daily challenges into moments of growth? Discover answers at the Neurodiversity in Harmony, a Summit for Empowered Parenting, coming on September 13, 2024. Join us for a day filled with expert insights and real life stories from professionals and parents alike.

All dedicated to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent diagnoses. Learn about innovative, positive parenting strategies and gain a deeper understanding of how to support your child's unique journey. Connect with a community that understands and shares your experiences. Whether you're seeking new strategies or some reassurance, this summit is your gateway to an empowered parenting approach.

Seats are limited. So don't miss out. Join our waitlist now to receive exclusive updates and registration details, visit www. boisimusictherapycompany. com today to secure your spot. Embrace the journey of neurodiverse parenting with us. This podcast is for parents like you navigating the world of neurodiversity with love and compassion.

I'm a neurodivergent mother of three amazing neurodivergent children and a board certified music therapist. Our mission is to create a supportive space where you feel understood, connected, and inspired. With practical tips, strategies, and resources, we'll help you and your child thrive in your unique way.

Join us as we dive deep into the diverse world of neurodivergent individuals, exploring topics like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing challenges, and more. We'll cover it all to empower, educate, and uplift both neurodivergent individuals, And those who walk alongside them. Together we'll create a world where every brain is valued and celebrated.

We're excited to embark on this enlightening journey with you. We are your hosts, Samantha Foote and Lauren Ross, and this is the Every Brain is Different podcast.

Hello everyone! Before we get started, I just wanted to give a content warning about today. We will be talking about all things in sexual relationships, including sexual abuse, activity, unplanned pregnancy, and working in the sex industry. So just take that into consideration before you start listening to this episode today.

We hope you enjoyed the episode. Welcome to the EveryBrain is Different podcast. We are here with Lonnell Madsen, and she is dedicated to empowering parents in their sacred mission to raise children who are confidently prepared for the complex world of dating, relationships, and sex. Embedded deep in her is the conviction to create a strong foundation for families, whereby they can navigate through societal pressures while upholding their treasured values.

As a seasoned expert, she offers a unique blend of personal experience and professional acumen to equip parents for this crucial responsibility. Lanelle's own story, marked by early sexual encounters leading to a young pre pregnancy and a tumultuous journey through the sex industry, serves as a powerful testimony of resilience.

Her personal experience has fed directly into her commitment to assist young people and their parents in making confident, wise choices concerning relationships and sexual intimacy. Her fight also extends to addressing and mitigating the damages of mental health conditions like borderline personality disorder, a disorder often associated with sexual trauma and abandonment, with a first hand experience of BPD through her daughter's struggle.

LaNell definitely weaves this awareness into her approach to product development and mentoring, enabling her to identify and respond to the personal pain points of her clientele that sets her apart in her field. And LaNell, thank you so much for being here. We're so excited to have you on the show.

You're welcome. And thank you too. Yeah. So can you just tell us a little bit more about how you're involved in the neurodivergent community and a little bit about your journey? Yeah. Um, well, to answer the first part, sometimes I forget that I'm a part of it just because it's just been my life. Um, and so, and actually I just recently got diagnosed in 2018 with, um, generalized anxiety disorder.

Match up with my midlife crisis I had, but, um, but yeah, I have, you know, a daughter with borderline personality disorder and I have a son who was never officially diagnosed because I was starting my practice just at the time that he, it was time to go find a diagnosis, but he's believed to be on the autism spectrum.

Um, he's 20. For now, and then I have step sons now that, um, a lot of them have ADHD or ADD. And so I'm finding that I'm, I'm actually surrounded by it. And sometimes me and my husband questioned, well, maybe we do too. So it is very common for parents to be neurodivergent when their kids are, I will say that.

So yeah, it seems to be like a genetic link, but, but yeah, um, Yeah, you're definitely in it and it's easy to forget that you're like in it when you're that's just your life, you know Yeah, like my mom says she's like, well, this is just normal life. So why should it be different? I guess So yeah, I often say that about my daughter's diagnosis I'm I'm like what she's experiencing.

It just seems to be a more extreme version of What every human I know experiences. So, and then I didn't, I don't know if I answered your second part of that question, but, um, my story is kind of a long one, but, um, maybe I'll pause and let you ask more questions and it'll come out. Yeah. Um, so just, yeah, we just want to know like a little bit about your background and how you got to where you are today.

Just answer that first and then I tend to ask a lot of questions and what her yeah Well, I so I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area I actually was born in Utah, but moved to the Bay Area when I was You know, around three months old, but I grew up in a, in a pretty big family. Um, there was five kids of us.

I was the middle child. So I'm the classic middle child. Um, but I, you know, even though I had kind of like this really loving upbringing, there were definitely some. major gaps in there. And so I ended up finding myself pregnant at 14 years old. And so, and I was sexually active as soon as 12 years old. Um, and so I, you know, typical of a teenager trying to find their identity.

It was like, well, it was thrust upon me. Okay. I'm a mom. And so, um, that really set the tone for the rest of my life because. I was in an abusive relationship with a father and, you know, he was just a kid too. He was 16 at the time. And when I found out I was pregnant, you know, finally I was like, Oh, I, I actually have some power.

I, my actions mean something. And so I wanted to really understand that relationship. And I devoted myself to like, how can I become the best person I can be? And so I studied like. I studied about abuse. I studied about communication. I, you know, the self help book section was what I, what I loved and it helped me because it really, um, helped me understand myself and understand, uh, and introspect, develop a, an ability to introspect.

And that's something I end up teaching a lot of. But that really forged this pattern of like coming to, um, understand my own personal power and the power that we have through, you know, whatever our choices are, and trying to, um, not have my daughter and then eventually my son to repeat those same mistakes and empower them, um, develop resilience within them, develop Awareness and, you know, the ability to introspect and just be discerning.

And that is a lifelong journey. Probably all know and parenting is a whole other layer of it. Um, but that's, that's actually like the Genesis for me. And I ended up pregnant again out of, out of wedlock. And that was actually very devastating. Um, eight years later, because I had worked as a, as a young girl and woman, I worked so hard deliberately and intentionally to.

sculpt away abuse out of my life and learn how to love myself and learn how to create love and loving relationships in my life. And, um, I found myself pregnant again. Uh, you know, and I, I did that yet somehow I chose to be in the sex industry too. So I wasn't, um, seduced into that or, manipulated into that.

Um, and so that's a telltale sign too, that there was just some gaps in my history and, um, things that I needed to become sober, sober minded about. Um, But that, that actually made me lose all my faith. And so while that's a bad thing, it also was this great thing because I was like, fine, I'm just going to put my head down, get to work, provide for my children, forget about trying to find a father for them and a companion for me.

I kind of, I lost faith in that. And so I got to work and I started to. Gradually lift me and my kids out of poverty and I left the sex industry, you know, I got a regular job and then eventually I put myself through, um, massage school and I ended up becoming a sports and medical massage therapist and I've been doing that for, um, almost, I guess it is 14 years now and so semi retired on that, but that brings me kind of more to the present moment where I'm like, Okay.

I, I'm now I'm a wife because I got married in 2016 after being single for 25 years. Told you it's a long story. No, I love it. Keep going. Yeah. And so, you know, and then I became, here I am, I'm a, I'm a wife now, I'm a stepmom. I don't have to be the breadwinner, completely foreign. So that was the kind of midlife crisis is like.

Who am I now that I don't have to do all these things and being that strong, independent, single mom was just such a part of my identity, which I needed for sure. And that shift has come, um, right alongside of letting go of my practice and how that not only did good and, and, and lifted us out of poverty and fed me emotionally, but it was also then like, okay, now it's a crutch.

And. Uh, I need to find something new. And so it's been a very iterative process, especially since the lockdowns, not being able to do my practice like I used to. And I had royal burnout with it anyway, finally going, well, what do I do next? And through a series of different like business ideas going online, it was finally just June last year.

So a year ago that I was like. Oh, I need to take this to the youth, but I, I obviously have to do that through the parents. And so, um, I'm like, well, no wonder, like, it makes sense. Here I am now preparing, preparing, or helping parents prepare their children for dating and relationships and sex. And so yeah, yeah, I think it's super important work that you do.

I know a lot of people grow up and they just, their parents don't talk about it. They don't talk about sex. They don't talk about things that you need to know. They don't talk about things that happen. And I just think it's so important what you do. So I'm so grateful for you on the show today. Thank you.

What would you tell parents, there, okay, there are so many things I want to talk about in your story, but we're going to stay a little bit on script, uh, for what the show is about. But, um, what would you tell parents who are raising neurodivergent kids, like what would be your advice on what to teach them or what to tell them or how to prepare them for dating and relationships and sex?

So actually in ways I think there's an advantage. Um, because I find, um, children that are neurodivergent, they tend to not share the same inhibitions, um, or, you know, stereotypes in their mind, or they just hold them differently. And I find them more open to like, actually receiving education from, you know, more formally from their parents on it or whatever source the parents choose.

And so, um, I would take comfort in that there's actually that advantage and so much of any of this education is customizing it to your unique child. And I know that can grow taxing, but it's also, it has to be that way so that they actually, the children Learn and integrate those lessons and, um, come to find that you're You know, your boundaries or your values aren't just these restrictions that they are, they come to understand better that, you know, the loving intentions behind them.

So I would take comfort in that, that they have an advantage. Yeah, for sure. I know like my son just, he's nine and he just asked questions and he just wants the answer. There's no like uncomfortableness or anything like that. He just wants to know Well, why is this the way it is? What does this mean? What does this mean?

And you can just talk to him and he will just keep asking questions until he gets satisfied that he has enough information. So I do love that about, um, you know, a lot of kids with autism and stuff, they, they tend to be like that. So what, um, what do you recommend when to start talking to your kids about this?

Um, usually a, a general recommendation is around five years old, um, and that's from my own experience. If you are, you're treating this subject as something that I call it the equilibrium equation where you're taking away, uh, taboo and you're taking away shame around it, but then you're adding in familiarity and levity and self awareness.

Um, I find that, um, If that's how you're, you're kind of treating it, then the, the kid, the children start to ask those questions naturally, probably around that time. You know, they recognize when, you know, auntie's belly's getting big and there's a baby in there, um, and that can still vary, but with my own daughter, it was at five years old because my parents had divorced and I was just 17 at the time.

So. It was all me and my sisters, except for one sister living with my mom. And you can imagine in a household with all women, the, you know, jokes or discussions around sex would happen with some frequency. And so my daughter overheard that. And so at five years old, she asked me, well, what is sex? And I'm like, okay, and I, and I heard this somewhere and I can't remember the source, but they said, you know, if your child is asking, then they're ready to know.

Now I did give her a pretty generic answer that clearly confused her because two weeks later she asked me again. And I said, that's it. I'm going to tell her straight up. And, uh, do I have license to say exactly what I said? Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I just said, well, it's when a man puts his penis in a woman's vagina.

And she said, why? And I said, well, it feels nice. And that's how babies are made. And that was it. I mean, it wasn't it, but like right then it was like, oh, okay. You know, there was no confusion. Yeah. Because of, you know, ending up pregnant so young and, and looking behind and seeing where those gaps were in my own upbringing, you know, I made that decision, like, I've got to just tell her the truth and help her not become another statistic because I went to a school for pregnant teens once I found out I was pregnant, and almost all of those girls were raised by teen moms, like, the majority.

So I couldn't help but notice this pattern. And so, anyhow, to answer your question, like, I, I find around that age, five years old, and so that is usually a good start. Yeah. And parents definitely know their kids best to know. What to tell them. I think a lot of parents are like, well, what exactly do I tell my kids?

Well, when my son was three, I got pregnant with my daughter and he was like, well, how are babies made? Or how did the baby get in your belly? That's what he asked me. And I said, well, dad, help me. And he said, well, how did the baby get out of your belly? And I said, the doctor helped me. And so, and he accepted that answer.

But if he didn't accept that answer, I was ready to be, you know, to say what you said to your daughter, like, well, this is exactly the process that happens, you know? So I think it just depends on your child's maturity level or their curiousness or like what they're willing to accept, you know? Because at that time, my son accepted, well, dad helped me, you know?

But I can guarantee you, if he asked me that now, Um, he would not accept that answer. He would want to know exactly how, um, I want to shift to kids a little bit older. How would you prepare like older kids for dating and relationships and all of that and teaching your values while like teaching about other things too?

Yeah, that's a great question. And, um, I believe. The best way is to be intentional as soon as possible about that, because that is the road ahead for them. Um, I often say that whether you educate your children or not, they are receiving an education on this topic. Um, you, and we can't escape that as humans.

I mean, obviously, you know, relationships and sex are, you know, that's, pertains to human life, so you just can't escape it. So they're receiving an education no matter what. So I think what you said about, you know, the particular child, their personality, what they can tolerate, their personal boundaries, especially as they get older, um, I think it's important that we approach those conversations Especially around relationships because that's the easiest way to do it, especially when they have crushes like in middle school or even elementary school.

Um, that is the key point, I think, to start talking that to them about like, well, let's let's look at maybe your classmates behavior. Why do you think they act that way? Maybe they're having problems at home, just helping to increase their, their self awareness on that. So they can see the, the context and the bigger picture and get to know, you know, Billy or Susie and see them as people, not just a classmate.

And that naturally will in turn help them to introspect. look at themselves and examine their own feelings and, and that is really helpful because that will carry on and spill over into other areas as they get older. They'll be able to go, you know, once they're in high school and maybe all their friends are doing something.

You know, they'll already be prepared. They'll know ahead of time what to expect because you're having these conversations that get them to just look a little deeper and to, um, deal with their own feelings surrounding them. And so they don't walk into those situations, you know, unaware and unprepared.

And then they have usually some semblance of like their own boundary on that. And they know they can go to mom and dad for truth. or just mom or just dad. And so they have that safety net and they're not necessarily relying on just, well, what are my peers going to say? Cause I need to, I need to make sure I'm doing that.

Not necessarily what, you know, who wants to do what mom is doing when she won't, she won't even tell me the truth. So that's your question. Yeah. No, I think he brought up a good point to just stay like a safe person For your kids to come and talk to when they're ready about things that they want to talk about because As they get older if they have questions, they know That you're there and they can talk to you about it and they don't have to be embarrassed They don't have to you know any of that stuff I know when I was younger and I am not saying my parents did anything wrong You But I was embarrassingly old when I figured all this stuff out, because I did not want to talk to my mom about it, and I, no way was I ever talking to my dad about this.

But my mom even straight up asked me, she was like, you're getting to the point where I feel like you should know this stuff, do you know what all this means? And I'm like, yep, for sure, totally. I had no idea, and it was good for her, and I talked to my mom about everything, like, I, I still talked to her about everything, but that was one subject that I felt like I was old enough that I should know, and so I wasn't going to talk to her about it, because that, like, that was just embarrassing to me that I didn't know yet, you know, and then, But then it turned into people, like boys at school, would say things to me that were so inappropriate.

And I didn't even know what they were saying because I just didn't understand any of that language. And so I think it's really important to talk to our kids about that. Even if they say, yeah, I know, I know, I know. Just Say it anyway, because some of the things that were said to me and some of the things that were done to me should have really been reported to someone, but I didn't know.

I didn't know, you know, I didn't know what I didn't know. I didn't know that it was that inappropriate, but looking back on it, I was like, Oh my word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I actually, um, I call that, you bring up something that's really important. I call it the generational muzzle where we just have this ongoing pattern through generations of time of a lack of the sex talks.

Or these, what I call spot conversations, and they're usually, you know, they feel obligatory to the parent and it's like, Oh, they're at this milestone. I better do that. You know, I better have this talk or I better talk to them about that. And by then they, there has been already some exposure to these topics that, like you said, can be really inappropriate.

Um, I remember experiencing that in grade school as well. Like I knew it was wrong what this boy was doing, but I, you know, didn't know how to talk about it without feeling shameful. And so I think it's critical to overcome that generational muzzle. To, you know, know it's your responsibility as your parent, but it's also this, it's a chance to instill wisdom and pass on wisdom and empowerment and break that legacy of silence on those topics that hurt our, our youth and hurt our kids.

It hurts every single human. Um, and so, yeah, I think it's really important that you. You start that as young as possible, but I think it starts chiefly in how you're talking about relationships, you know, with their peers and with their family members, their siblings, like when you can go over that and that naturally translates into, you know, sexual encounters or intimacy or whatever, because it just spills into that.

And if you're honest on those more safer subjects or less intimidating subjects to talk about first. Then, that breaks down so many walls and barriers that the kids naturally feel like, oh, I can actually go get safe information. I can, I can become prepared and I can be safe by, you know, if my parents telling me the truth about this and it's worked and it's comforted me and it's empowered me, then I can come back to them and share this information and do something about it.

So, yes, I love that. Um, just, yeah. You know, you said the safer topics, like talking about those, and then they'll build that sense of safety so they can talk to you about the other things that might not be, you know, It's safe for them to talk about, but it's still, it is safe for them to talk about because they gain that trust from the other topics.

Um, so, and they can be super young. So my seven year old, the cutest thing, he had a crush this year in first grade. And he was just like, oh, she's so beautiful and I just sit and stare at her and I just tell her how beautiful she is and I said, okay, I'm glad that you think she's beautiful. I think it's great that you like have a crush, but you need to be respectful.

Are you making her feel like she's beautiful? I don't know what the word is, um, not overwhelmed, but just uncomfortable. Are you making her feel uncomfortable? Are you making her feel not safe? Like, you need to realize that what you're doing might, might make her feel uncomfortable. And he's like, Oh, okay.

I'm like, so I don't think you want to stare at her. That's not okay. Like you can't just stare at people, you know? And so we were just talking about how to treat people so that yes, you can say you're like, You think they're beautiful, but he was like filling up he became like kind of obsessed or he would like fill up notebooks like this little tiny notebook and just write like how beautiful she was and he loved her and all this stuff and I Was like, okay We need to tone it down a little bit.

And so just talking about like relationships, even starting that young, I think can be really beneficial. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to sound condescending, but yay, mom, that was a win. Thank you. Yeah. And your own insight into that, I think just, and then, you know, sharing that with your son, like helps his awareness.

And helps him, you know, consider what the boundaries are of, you know, a healthy relationship. So, that's awesome. Yeah. That's really great. Well, thank you. I'm glad that the expert says I did a good job. Um, okay. So what, um, resources do you have for parents? Like what do you recommend or how can they get more information?

Yeah. So, um, I guess Instagram is probably the best place to go get a resource. It's my, um, five gentle ways to start the sex talks with your kids. It's a free guide. Uh, and that's the link in my bio on Instagram, um, which is just instagram. com, you know, slash Lonnell dot Madsen. Um, yeah, that, that's a great way.

And then, you know, you get on my email list and you'll, you'll get exposed to more, you know, free things or, you know, other offers and invitations to learn more. So. That's a great way to do that. Awesome. Awesome. That sounds like a really good resource. I'm, I am going to go get it. I don't know why I haven't gotten it yet, but I'm going to go get it as soon as we get off this call.

So yeah. I looked at it this morning and it's great. So I recommend people download it. Oh, you have. I did. I was like, well, I want to see what this is before I talk with her. Thank you, Lauren. So I thought it, I thought it was good. I highly recommend it. Thank you. Awesome. I will add that I tend to cater to a Christian audience.

I myself am Christian. Um, but it's been really, really important to me that the non religious people and parents feel welcome, like, It's a marketing thing almost just trying to like go I cater to Christian parents and that doesn't feel right all the time for me even though I am and it comes through with some of my convictions, but I really want even non religious or you know secular parents to just know that like This work is for you.

It's, you know, it's passing on what you want for your children that are important to you. So all, everyone's welcome for sure. It's too important of a work. Yeah, for sure. I appreciate that. Um, our last question is, what do you do for fun? Oh, well, I truly should have more fun. I mean, I do have fun doing this.

Um, I love people and I love serving. So. But fun. I mean, my sports and medical massage practice should be a little telling, but I, I love dance. I love gymnastics. Um, I love fitness, um, as a matter of fact, I just have a brand new grandbaby and I just want to turn my office into this big tumbling gymnasium with her.

I mean, she's only six weeks old, so it'll be a bit, but, but that's what I do for fun. And just, I like to play in nature and camp and. Yeah. All the, all the nature stuff. That's awesome. I enjoy all the nature stuff too. So if I don't do it nearly enough, so maybe we can work on that. Well thank you so much for coming on the show.

We truly appreciate your time. Thank you so much. This was great. And thank you. It was a great opportunity. So look forward to coming back, maybe. Oh, yeah, for sure. We'd love that. And we will have all your contact information in the show notes. So if you want to contact Linnell, definitely check out our show notes and we will have her stuff there.

Awesome. Thank you. Well, Lauren, what did you think? I think that we could have multiple podcasts on just this topic in general. And then just the idea. Of individuals with, um, like specifically like intellectual and developmental disabilities. Like this is such a taboo topic, um, but humans are humans and they have the same desires.

Um, and so being able to talk about it, um, in healthy and educational ways, I think is really important. Um, so I love what she's doing. I think it's great. Uh, I think a couple of things, uh, that I appreciate, um, especially reading through her stuff and like hearing her talk is, um, you can still, um, share your values and what you believe, but also still giving all of the information that is needed.

Um, That's just one of the things, and I hope I'm not getting too, too crazy, but like, you know, the, the thought of abstinence only teaching, like, that's great and that's cool if that's your belief, but you're leaving out all of this other education that is genuinely needed to, uh, Make good choices. Um, and I know a lot of people were not given that, um, and it was kind of detrimental to them.

Um, and so it's an uncomfortable topic. Um, I, and, but it needs to be talked about and there's ways to go about it. And, uh, for her free resource, I definitely recommend checking it out, especially for younger kids and teenagers. And. I really appreciate, I really appreciate her. Also, uh, a lot of her, uh, information is respecting the boundaries of your teenage children and what they're comfortable talking about, like where they're at in their life and being mindful and respectful and not pushing.

I think it's really important to also, you know, keep that trust and be that person that they can go to, um, in the long run is really important. So I really appreciated, um, that, so yeah, I definitely think being there for your kids and letting them know that they can come to you with anything is key. And then, like you said, like even if they have a developmental or intellectual disability.

Humans are humans, so you need to give them all the education, so that they don't, if, if not for anything else, but just so they don't get taken advantage of, you know, like, this is what this is. And this is how you can respond to it if this happens, you know, or if like someone does this to you, then tell me this, you know, um, and I think that they're very vulnerable population and they can get taken advantage of and that's not okay.

And so just if nothing else to do that, you know. So I think there's lots of conversations that, like, we could go deeper on in the future if people are interested, um, because I think it, it is important and as uncomfortable as it is, uh, reality of life is that's going to happen and we want people to have all the information.

Yeah. Yeah. They make the choices that they make. So. Yeah, for sure. And then, I know a lot of parents, like you were saying, teach abstinence only, like, just don't do it. Well, but what if you do do it? Like, Faculty, like, I, I, I, Like, as a, as a parent, um, like, Yes, you know, the ideal is that they don't do it at all, but that is not reality.

Like, it's not reality, and people need to get over that. Um, and so, wouldn't you want them to be safe? Like, and have all the information, like, I don't understand why you would not want that as a parent, but that's just me. Um, and so, yes, you can still teach that in your values and morals and whatever, but still again, giving them all the information.

Um, so one, they can make their own decisions. Um, and at least we know that they will be educated once. And again, if. Choose to make bad decisions and that's a different issue, but, um, at the end of the day, uh, we don't, we don't want to get keep knowledge, um, especially as something as serious as this. I think it's a, it's a serious thing.

Um, because it can, like, it can go bad quickly. And I also think another thing touching on is talking about what healthy relationships look like. What a good. What a good friendship looks like, what a good romantic relationship looks like, what a good parent looks like, um, so that we can know and identify when it's not that.

Yeah, for sure. And better relationship and life choices, so. Yeah. And modeling, you know, that, those relationships too, for your child, like. Exactly. And helping them understand how to get over, you know, if there's like, disharmony, what's the word I'm looking for in a relationship, you know. Like disharmony.

Yeah. Where you're, where there's just things that come up and you need to get over it, like teaching them how to respectfully do that and that it's okay if disagreements come up, but you just need to work through them. It doesn't mean that you're bad. It doesn't mean the other person's bad. Um, you just, you can just work through them and communicate with each other.

I think that's important too. So yeah, we could talk all day about this, but we, I was like, this could have multiple podcasts. Yeah. So let us know, let us know what you're interested in. Let us know what you want to hear more about. Um, if you like this, you know, let us know, and we're still trying to get to those reviews.

So let us know. Give us a review, tag us, and whatever, so. We appreciate you. Yeah. We appreciate you listening. Um, yeah. So, we will see you all next week.

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