45 - Tips for a Calm Summer 03/06/24

Summer break is just around the corner, and parents often find themselves pondering how to keep their children engaged and happy during these long, sun-filled days. To help parents navigate this period smoothly, Samantha and Lauren share five valuable tips for a calm and enjoyable summer! Stay tuned!

Here's what to expect on the podcast:

• Five tips on how parents can tailor summer activities to accommodate the unique needs and interests of their neurodivergent child.

• Teach your kids to advocate for themselves and ask for what they need.

• Some practical self-care strategies that parents can incorporate into their daily routine during the summer.

• How does listening to music help reduce stress levels in children and adults?

• And much more!

Connect with Samantha Foote!

Website: www.boisemusictherapycompany.com

Email: [email protected]

Consultation: https://letsmeet.io/boisemusictherapycompany/30-mi…

TRANSCRIPTION

Are you feeling overwhelmed by your child's unique needs? Wondering how to turn daily challenges into moments of growth? Discover answers at the Neurodiversity in Harmony, a Summit for Empowered Parenting, coming on September 13, 2024. Join us for a day filled with expert insights and real life stories from professionals and parents alike, all dedicated to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent diagnoses.

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Seats are limited so don't miss out. Join our waitlist now to receive exclusive updates and registration details. Visit www. boisimusictherapycompany. com today. to secure your spot. Embrace the journey of neurodiverse parenting with us. This podcast is for parents like you navigating the world of neurodiversity with love and compassion.

I'm a neurodivergent mother of three amazing neurodivergent children and a board certified music therapist. Our mission is to create a supportive space where you feel understood, connected, and inspired with practical tips, strategies, and resources will help you and your child thrive in your unique way.

Join us as we dive deep into the diverse world of neurodivergent individuals, exploring topics like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing challenges, and more. We'll cover it all to empower, educate, and uplift both neurodivergent individuals, And those who walk alongside them. Together we'll create a world where every brain is valued and celebrated.

We're excited to embark on this enlightening journey with you. We are your host, Samantha Foot and Lauren Ross, and this is the Every Brain Is Different podcast. Welcome to the Every Brain is Different podcast. It is just me and Lauren today, and we are going to be talking about how to make your summer successful with your kids at home.

If, I mean, if you homeschool, then I don't know, maybe this is different for you too. Homeschool people have different schedules in the summer. But, anyway, um, yes, we're going to talk about how to make your summer a successful summer experience. Yes. Just some tips, do with the information as you will. Take it, interpret it in whatever else you already have planned or doing.

Yeah, take it or leave it. These are just some ideas that have helped me with my kids. And then when Lauren and I worked together, we did a summer camp for kids with, um, developmental disabilities and it worked really well for them. So just take what you will and if it doesn't work for you, then you can blame us.

Right? Yeah. I will be that fall guy. Um, so our first, uh, tip is, and I think probably one of the biggest things, is create a routine, a summer routine. So why is routine important, Sam? So a lot of kids who are neurodivergent have a lot of anxiety. And if you give them a routine, they'll know what to expect. A lot of kids have trouble when unexpected things happen.

When you tell them to transition to something new and they don't know what's happening. So if they know what's coming, when unexpected things happen, I don't think it's as big of a deal as if unexpected things are happening all the time. And I would say make a visual schedule for them. and say, okay, you know, first we're going to wake up and then we're going to get dressed and then we're going to eat breakfast and then we're going to brush our teeth and make it that detailed or however detailed your child needs it.

If they just know they're going to wake up and they know what their morning routine is, that's great. Um, and then, you know, maybe you do, I know for us, we're going to be doing some school time in the morning. So learning, you know, reading, we're going to read, we're going to do some math just because my kids need to make up some ground because they're a little bit behind in school this year.

So we're going to try that this summer. I think this helps in general to keep and maintain the knowledge that they've already have learned so that they can easily roll into the new school year. So. Yeah, and I only get anything wrong with that. Yeah, and getting reading, I want to say, out of the way because my kids hate reading.

Just getting it out of the way and not waiting until the evening because I don't know about other parents, but I am so burned out when it comes to bedtime that I just don't even want to read with my kids. I just want them to go to bed. I just want them to take their melatonin and go to bed and Yes, the doctor said they need melatonin after trying so many other things my kids will stay up and Stay up until like 12, 1 o'clock in the morning if we don't get the melatonin, so deal with that what you will.

But, anyway, this, this went off the rails, so let's get back to the summer routine. Why you're giving your kids melatonin. Yeah, it's a hot topic. It is a hot topic. It's a hot take sometimes. There are lots of things that are hot topics in the parent world. And you do what is best for your child and not all that fucking matters, pardon my language.

Yeah, we're gonna edit that part out. Okay. Um, yeah, so, but creating a summer routine just helps your kids know what's coming, helps you stay on track. So you know, if you want to get stuff done. You can, um, you can just know what's coming next. And I think it gets your family in a good flow that, and if it's something that your kids don't like to do, if it's written down, if it's visually there and they know they have to do it every day, it's not as big of a struggle if they know what's coming and they know they have to do it.

Yeah. And I think too, also with this, because when you say routine and write things down, I just imagine. Maybe the parents that don't have to work and have the time to make it crafty in this beautiful little chart And it doesn't have to be that like you can write it down on paper every morning or whatever like it doesn't have to be like Fancy.

I like, I just imagine people saying like, I don't have time to create a little chart and like all this stuff for like everyday's activities and stuff. And it doesn't have to be like that. It can be very, very simple. You can do it on a whiteboard and like they make those little small little whiteboards and can just always have it and, and stuff like that.

So don't overthink the list or the chart and how pretty it is and all of that. Yeah. And if you want a pretty one, they have them on Etsy. Yeah. They're really cool. But I. Don't want to spend the money on it, but they are cool if you want one. So I just write things down like on a whiteboard or a piece of paper.

But if you have like a daily schedule, you know, you can put it on a whiteboard so it sticks around for a little bit or like laminate a piece of paper, you know? Yeah. Especially like the daily, like these are going to happen every day. Like you could do it once and laminated or whatever, and always. So.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Good tip. Don't overthink it. Keep it easy. That's what I imagine some, some mom out there is like freaking out about that. Yep. Yep. Um, our next tip, sensory friendly spaces. Yeah. So just create a space where your child can go if they get overwhelmed, you know, if they need, um, Go ahead.

Noise canceling headphones because your house is too loud or they need, I don't know, just a place to go to be alone. I know when my nephew was small, he would go up to his mom and just be like I need to be alone and she would have a place for him where he could go and be alone and just chill and not have anyone bothering him.

We have a little cupboard. My kids are still small enough to fit in it that I don't put anything in and when they want to be alone, they just go and sit in that cupboard. That sounds really weird, but it's on the floor and it's huge and they love it. My son has sat in there since we moved. The day we moved in, he found it.

So since he was a year and a half old, he's been sitting in that cupboard when he wants alone time and all my kids do it. I'm pretty sure I have a picture of your kids in that cupboard and I feel like we should attach one to the info. Oh yeah. Yes. We'll put it, we'll put it on Instagram. You can see it there.

Yeah, they have decorated it now. So there's like stickers on the inside, which I'm not thrilled about, but they're there now. So we're just going to roll with it. So they're covered now. Yeah. But you can create like a corner in your home or in their bedroom and you can have whatever toys suit them like fidget toys.

That's where they can have screen time if they want to read, um, anything that helps them be sensory, like self regulated. Then just give them what they need, but just keep that in mind that they might need a place like that to go. I know my son asked for his own room because he was sharing a room with his brother and my kids never go in their rooms.

And so I was like, yeah, you can, you know, switch with your sibling because he actually wants to go in his room now to be alone where the other two, they're younger, they don't care about. Being in their room. They just go in to get a toy and then come out, you know So we gave him his own room because he needs to go in there and that's where he de stresses That's where he, you know self regulates.

So just be thinking about what the right space for your child is So and also for yourself if you need it, make sure you have your own little little nook. Yeah Yeah, for sure. It's easier for you there, too, because, uh, adults, adults need that, too. Yes. Absolutely. If you have the space for your own space, as well.

Make it sensory friendly. Absolutely. I love that. Um, your next one, and I really like this one, uh, outdoor adventures. Yeah, so being outdoors can help kids self regulate really well, and it can get, you know, their energy out, and just being outdoors in general. You know, you're getting vitamin D, you're getting fresh air.

Um, if your kids don't like crowds, maybe looking for a place that's not as crowded. So, you know, out of the way places, or just go in your own backyard. If you have a backyard big enough for this, you know, my kids like to, well, my oldest son, he just runs around our house. He's like, I need to run. I'm like, okay.

So he just runs around, like he runs literally all the perimeter of our property. I say property, like we have so much, Oh my gosh. We have like a worth of an acre. If that, I don't even know how big it is. I know it's not, I know it's not even a third of an acre, but anyway, so. Yeah, just finding cool little places, you know, you can go for hikes, you can go to the park, you can just play outside your house, whatever, just getting outdoors.

I think, um, a fun thing that I used to do when I was little in our backyard, um, especially if we had, like, friends over or whatever, we would just set up a tent in the backyard and we would just, you know, Pretend we were camping, but then could have the convenience to come inside to go to the bathroom.

And that was like sometimes the only reason like our parents would put us in. Like you can use the bathroom, but otherwise you're fending for yourself in the backyard. Here's all the tools. But that's always fun to have a little tent and, you know, you can do a little, little fire pit and do marshmallows or whatever if you can't, you know.

Get out of the city or do those things. That's a fun thing to do. Yeah. If you can go to the woods, by all means go to the woods, but if you can't, you can do things like, I know that some parks have fire pits, um, that you can build a fire in and. You know, do that kind of stuff. Um, but I mean, if you can go to the woods, that's like the ultimate for me or a lake, you know, just go have fun.

Love a good lake. Yeah.

Do you feel like you're failing as a parent of a neurodivergent child? You're tired of cookie cutter advice that doesn't work for you or your child's unique needs. Do you feel like you're navigating this journey alone? You aren't alone. Join us each month for the Parenting Power Sessions, Autism and ADHD, where you'll discover not just support, but real, actionable strategies tailored to the unique needs of your family.

Every second Wednesday of the month at noon, Mountain Time. We explore topics like positive discipline strategies, understanding neurodivergence, and enhancing self regulation skills for you and your child. Each session includes 20 minutes of expert led teaching, followed by a 10 minute Q& A where you get answers to your most pressing questions.

Best of all, it's completely free! Sign up today and join a community of parents just like you who are ready to transform their challenges into Visit www. BoiseMusicTherapyCompany. com to register. It's time to feel empowered as a parent. Our next one, also important, flexible expectations. Yeah. So I remember vividly when I was pregnant, I was like, when my kids.

When I have kids, I'm going to take them to the library. I'm going to go to all the fun things. We're going to go to the story time. We're going to go to music time, all that stuff. Right. And I took my, when my kids were like two and three, four, I don't know. We went to the library story time and it did not go well.

So my one son was crying because there were too many people there. My other son. Was just climbing on everything because he needed that sensory input because he was You know, a little bit agitated, and I was like, well, this is not for us. And so we went into this other room in the library, and they did the same thing again.

And I was like, well, library excursions, not for us, too many people, it's not happening. But just, you know, just be flexible with your expectations. If you go to a group activity, and they're not feeling it, you know, it's okay. It's okay, not. To go to that thing, or if you go, let's say you plan like this really cool outdoor experience and you're so excited to do it and you want to go and you're going to play Frisbee golf, whatever.

I don't know why that popped into my head, but you're going to play Frisbee golf and they go and they see the playground and they're like, we want to play on the playground. It's okay. You know, you can go to the playground and you're still, I think the most important thing is you're just spending time with your kids.

They're having a good time. You're having maybe a good time, but I don't know. Sometimes I get bored when I take my kids to the playground. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I don't want to be here, but they really, they love it. So we, we go to the playground, you know? Um, but just being flexible with what you expect them to do.

So we went to the monster bounce house when it was here last weekend. And. I paid for my kids for an hour. After 20 minutes, it was so hot there. But they were like, they were like, we need to take a break. And they would just come and sit down in the shade. There's like two feet of shade around the perimeter of the bounce house because you know, the walls making the shade.

And I was like, no, you guys need to go have fun. You need to go have fun while we're here. I did not say this to them, but that was my expectation that they would like be crying, not wanting to leave when we left. Yeah. But instead they ran out of that place before our time was even up because they're like, we're so tired.

We're so thirsty. We're so hot, you know? Yeah. And that's okay. Like that, that was okay. Like they made their memories, they had their fun and then we were gone. I know a lot of people. They're like, well, we go places and my kid only wants to be there for five minutes. That's okay. That's okay. And you can decide if you want to go to be there for five minutes, but it's not like a bad thing if they don't want to participate in it, you know?

Yeah. But anyway, that's my spiel. Don't fight it. Yeah. Yeah. Go with the flow, guys. Yeah. Just go with the flow. Um, even, you know, we said create a summer routine. If you don't follow that routine exactly, that's okay. Like, just be flexible, things happen. If you go somewhere and you're like, Okay, we're only going to be here for an hour, and your family is having a lot of fun, and you have the time to stay there longer, stay there longer.

Maybe you don't do the next thing on the list. That's okay. Just be flexible. If your kids need to take a break halfway through something because they're overstimulated, Let them take a break and then go back. That's what we did at the bounce house. My daughter would come and she would lay down for like two minutes and she's like, I'm so tired.

I can't do this anymore. And then two minutes later, she gets up and she's playing again. And then she comes back after two or three minutes. I'm so tired. I can't do this anymore. But I, yeah, it was fine. It was fine. Love it. Um, and then our last one, um, also all of these are so important. Um, this one's probably the most important though.

Communication. Communication is key. Yeah. So if you're wondering what your kids want, what they need, and they can verbally express that, or not verbally, if they can just express what they need, you know, like if you have like a one year old, they're not going to be able to answer the question, but. You know, just ask like, what would help you when you're dysregulated, you know, and don't talk about these things when they're throwing a tantrum, but maybe we use the Diane Albers spot books.

I know I've talked about them on here before, but. We go through and I got my son, the little plush puppet, not puppets, but the little plush toys. And he carries those around and he'll bring them out and be like, I am feeling this today because there are different colors based on each emotion. And he's like, I'm feeling green today, which is perfect.

Calm. And I'm like, cool. Or I'm feeling red, which is anger. Um, and that is a good way to help him express his emotions when, and so we talk about anger when he's not angry and say, okay, what can you do when you are angry? And he'll be like, take deep breaths, go be in my room, go be alone somewhere, you know?

And then when he does get angry, I say, okay, let's take deep breaths. He's like, I don't want to take deep breaths. I'm like, well, I'm going to take deep breaths and you can join me if you want to, but just, and then he'll usually join me. And he's like, he's like, so yeah, anyway, it's really, it's not funny, I guess, but it's funny.

Um, but yeah, and just encouraging your kids to express their needs, learning to advocate for themselves if they need. Water, like if they need food and you, they just had a snack while advocating for themselves that, Hey, I'm still hungry, you know? Cause that is a sensory need too. Sometimes if you don't know why your child's angry, if you don't know why your wife is angry for men listening, it's probably anger.

So yeah, just letting them advocate for themselves. Like this is what I need. And then it helps them advocate at school too, or in different situations that they're in. I know I've been trying to help my oldest. Um, advocate for himself and what he needs and asking for what he wants and he started doing it more at school where he'll be, he doesn't do it super appropriately, but he is advocating for himself and we're working on it.

So I really liked that. He's like, I can't do this right now. I need this. I need this. And he says it really angrily. So we're like working on maybe making a request before you get to that anger point. But the point is. Is, uh, just, and helping them communicate what they need will help you have a better summer overall because they will be able to tell you what they need and talk about things that will help them help themselves.

I like it. And, so those are five things. You know, tips. We have create a summer routine, create sensory friendly places, um, do outdoor adventures, have flexible expectations and communication is key. I think the last thing we're going to do a bonus one about self care because you as a parent need your self care.

Do not feel guilty for it either. Yes. Yeah. So I don't know what self care looks like to you. I'm just going to give. some ideas. Um, I've been doing like this self care thing on Instagram lately. That's like ideas for self care. And the first one, I just had a video of me with a tea kettle. And so I'm like, have a cup of herbal tea.

But if that's, you know, if that's what you like to do, like have a cup of tea. I know it's really hard for moms to, and dads to wake up before their kids do. Um, so. Maybe if you can like wake up before your kids get up and just sit, just have a peaceful few minutes before they get up. Um, the next one is, well, it was going outdoors, like just get outdoors.

If you can go for a walk by yourself or run or just sitting outside by yourself, getting the sun, um, definitely doing that. And then making music. Music has so Many benefits. That even if you're not a musician, you can still get those benefits. So it increases dopamine. So that feel good chemical in your body decreases cortisol, which is a stress hormone and just helps you de stress and relax.

Even if you're not a trained musician, you can, you know, you can play the piano. Anyone can get two fingers and just plunk out the piano and you get those benefits. Um, You know, you could sing, you can dance, just maybe go for a drive and turn up the music. I have, um, speakers in my bathroom, and that is my time when, not when I'm going to the bathroom, but when I'm getting dressed.

So, when I'm showering, doing my hair, doing my makeup, getting dressed, I just crank the music up. You know, if there's somebody else here to watch my kids. Um, and yeah, that's how, that's my time for self care. But there's, there's so many different things. So like you were saying, Lauren, just take some time, even if it's just like five minutes a day, where you can just do whatever you do for self care.

Decompress. Yeah. I love music. At work, we talk about, like, what people's coping skills and what they do for stress relieving activities and what's something that you wouldn't want to live without. And every, the one thing that is always said. Everybody, no one has not said it is music. So, um, I, I agree with you that that is a really good, even if it's just listening to it, like playing it and all of that and creating, like, all of that is good and dancing and singing.

But like, I just feel like music is the, the common thing. Like it, it literally helps everybody. Yeah. Yeah. And I know some people, like I worked with this kid. He's like, I don't like music with words in it. That's fine. You don't have to listen to music with words in it. You can just listen to instrumental music.

So does not matter what you listen to. That is my decompress. I like to cover myself with my blanket in my bed and piano instrumental music and I feel good afterwards. Nice, nice. And I love that you can get the benefits without having Lessons or being a trained musician, like they did this study where, um, they took people and they put them in a stressful situation.

So they made them do puzzles without, uh, you know, without a solution, none of the pieces fit together and they had to do those puzzles for an hour. And then they took one group of people and they did, you know, the usual self care stuff like reading or just laying down or, you know, whatever. And then they took a group of people and had them play the piano for an hour.

Um, I think it was like group keyboarding or something like that. And then they took people and kept them in the stressful environment. And the people that did the music, they measured their stress on a genomic level. So they took their genes and they looked at the stress markers in their genes and three times more genes were turned off of stress with the music making than the other.

Just. You know, just doing what they wanted to do for stress relaxation stuff. And then obviously the people, you know, that continue to do the puzzles while they were just stressed out, I hope that they got a really good like reward for doing that, but yeah, that just shows that none of these people were trained musicians, none of them had any music like training or anything like that.

And it tripled the amount of stress. on your DNA level that was reversed. And I just thought that was super cool. Super fascinating. I love it. Yeah. But yeah, um, let us know what you thought of this episode, what you want to hear from us next month, because we'll be doing solo episodes once a month. So let us know, tag us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok, write a review if you want to.

Whatever. Share what your summer routine is going to be. Yeah. Share what your summer routine is. That would be awesome. We would love to hear because I am looking for ideas for my cake. Maybe I'll post it. When I create my summer routine, I'll post it and just to give you ideas. So, yeah. Okay. We'll see you all next week.

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